Joey's Soapbox: What The Wilpons Should Do With Their Money

Over the past 24 hours, two seasons officially ended.  For those not involved in Ponzi schemes, winter turned to spring at 1:14 AM.  For those whose surname is Wilpon, your winter of discontent has also ended.  Now that the Mets’ owners and Irving Picard have settled for $162 million before the case went to trial, the focus can now shift completely to what’s happening on the field and not what could have happened off it.

But before we return to the action between the foul lines, I wanted to hop on my soapbox.  If I may, I’d like to share my thoughts with you on what I think the brothers-in-law Wilpon and Katz should do now that they won’t have to fork over $386 million to the Picard peeps.  Who knows?  Maybe they might actually listen to me this time.  Who am I?  I'm Joey Beartran, and I'm about to take you for a ride on my soapbox.


Sign a starting pitcher that can actually stay on the mound

In 2006, the Mets won 97 games.  They also used 13 starting pitchers, all of whom made at least three starts for the team.  Only Tom Glavine and Steve Trachsel were able to make more than 23 starts.  Of course, the Mets' lack of depth and health in the starting rotation caught up with them in the National League Championship Series, especially when both Pedro Martinez and Orlando "The Dookie" Hernandez couldn't pitch in the postseason due to injuries.

Two years later, the Mets traded for Johan Santana and gave him a six-year contract extension.  To date, Santana has given the Mets one DL-free season.  Looks like it's obvious here.  The Wilpons should use their money to sign a dependable starting pitcher that can actually stay on the mound.  The Phillies did it with Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee and they've been able to withstand all sorts of injuries to their everyday players.  The Mets should follow suit.  Or they should find a way to injure Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee.


How about a pitcher who can strike out a batter or ten?

In 1984, Dwight Gooden struck out 276 batters as a rookie, fanning ten or more batters in 15 of his 31 starts.  In 2011, a Mets' starting pitcher reached double digits in strikeouts in a single game twice.  That's two times in 162 games.  Only R.A. Dickey and Chris Capuano reached the level that Gooden reached regularly, and they were only able to do it once apiece.

Since 1992, the only Mets pitchers to strike out 200 or more batters in a single season have been Al Leiter (2000, 200 Ks), Pedro Martinez (2005, 208 Ks) and Johan Santana (2008, 206 Ks).  In each of the years they accomplished their hefty strikeout totals, the Mets finished with a winning record.  That's not a coincidence.

With Citi Field's fences moving in for the start of the 2012 season, it would behoove the Mets to find pitchers who can keep the ball in the ballpark.  Either that or they'll need pitchers with the ability to get opposing batters to hit the ball on the ground, preferably away from Daniel Murphy at second base.  Of course, we wouldn't even have to discuss this if the Mets had pitchers who could strike out a batter or ten.


Spend money on scouting and minor league development

Over the past decade, the only two pitching prospects to stick around have been Mike Pelfrey and Jonathon Niese.  Both players have losing records in the major leagues and neither has made the All-Star team.  In fact, other than Jose Reyes and David Wright, the last homegrown All-Star (regardless of whether he was a pitcher or everyday player) was Edgardo Alfonzo in 2000.  Who was the last homegrown All-Star pitcher?  You have to go back to 1997 and Bobby Jones.

Winning teams succeed with the right combination of veteran leadership and homegrown talent.  The Mets haven't been able to get this consistently right for over a decade.  A few extra bucks spent on their scouts and the development of players in the minor leagues should help the Mets in that regard.


Don't spend on a big-name free agent; spend on a big-name exorcist

On the night Citi Field hosted its first regular season game, a frisky feline darted onto the field and crept past David Wright, who was standing in the on-deck circle.  It was a scene reminiscent of the black cat that ran behind Cubs' third baseman Ron Santo at Shea Stadium in 1969.  Just as the black cat served as the superstitious impetus for the Cubs' demise, the Citi kitty might have done the same to the Mets.

I don't usually believe in curses or the supernatural, but surely a lower power must be involved in the Mets' misfortunes.  Therefore, instead of throwing cash at the next hot ticket free agent, why don't the Mets just hire the best exorcist money can buy?  Clearly, Fred Wilpon already used an exorcist on himself, as his head is no longer spinning due to the resolution of the Madoff mess.  Now it's time to use it on the team.  It might be our only hope.


Give Jeff Wilpon a makeover

New York is the media capital of the world.  Because of that, Jeff Wilpon has found himself in front of the TV cameras quite a bit over the years.  This would normally be a good thing for someone who bears a strong facial resemblance to a popular TV star, as Wilpon does.  However, when that popular television character is Alfalfa from The Little Rascals, it’s a sign that Little Jeffy needs a makeover.

Perhaps a new hairstyle would work.  It doesn’t have to be outlandish like the blond curls sported by the late Jose Lima during his month-long stay in New York in 2006.  (If you don’t remember Lima ever being a Met, it’s probably because you were in an alcohol-induced stupor due to his constant poundings on the mound.)  All his new "do" must do is say “I want you to believe that I’m going to put the best team on the field” instead of “I want you to believe that Darla will one day fall in love with me”.  It’s time for Jeff Wilpon to change the way he looks.  Even Buckwheat would say “o-tay” to that.


Invest in antivenom

In last year’s infamous New Yorker interview, Fred Wilpon stated that Jose Reyes would never get Carl Crawford’s money.  He was right.  He also said that David Wright was a good, but not great player.  With Wright’s latest injury keeping him out of action, he may be right on that front, too.  Papa Smirk is definitely not a saint, but he might be a prophet.

Since everything Wilpon said in the article has come true, then we should also believe him when he says “we’re snakebit, baby!”  In that case, I’d like to make a suggestion to our fearless leader.  Snakes have venom.  Antivenom can combat snake bites.  You now have extra money that won’t be siphoned out of your Sandy Koufax piggy back.  Do the math.

As things stand now, even if the Mets improve upon last year’s 77-85 record, they might still finish in last place.  Every team in the National League East is better on paper.  The Nationals and Marlins, who finished in third and fifth place in the division last year, respectively, are exponentially better this year.  The Nationals added Gio Gonzalez and Edwin Jackson to their starting rotation (not to mention a healthy Stephen Strasburg) and will now have Brad Lidge closing games for them.  Meanwhile, the Marlins added Mark Buehrle to anchor their rotation and All-Star Heath Bell to seal the deal in the ninth inning.  The Braves have the best one-two punch in the bullpen in Jonny Venters and Craig Kimbrel, in addition to a solid starting rotation.  Even with an off-year by rightfielder Jason Heyward, the Braves still competed for a playoff spot until the last day of the season.  And the Phillies?  They’re pretty good.

The Mets have a long way to go if they want to be mentioned in the same sentence as the other teams in the division.  Right now, the only way the Mets could realistically compete in the National League East is if they faced Cole Hamels every day.  That’s about as likely as Shane Victorino learning how not to complain like a little … ahem … sorry,  I got carried away there.  It’s just that I’m very passionate about my team, and I want them to do well.

Surely, the team’s owners want the same thing for their team as I do.  Throwing money at the best available free agent just won’t cut it anymore.  Doing that just gets you Oliver Perez or Jason Bay.  Perhaps Los Wilpons will read this and get an idea or six.  My suggestions can’t hurt as much as the Wilpons have hurt the fan base over the past few years, right?

Little Jeffy Wilpon Sticks Foot In Mouth ... Again!

In Thursday's Daily News, Wayne Coffey wrote an article about the progress of the reconfigured fences at Citi Field.  In his article, Coffey discussed how various players and front office personnel agree that the new dimensions will make Citi Field a neutral ballpark instead of one that was geared to eat up long fly balls.  One particular member of the front office chimed in at the end of the article with his own thoughts.

Mets’ non-prodigal son, Jeff Wilpon, was on hand to give the first public tour since Citi Field began experiencing shrinkage.  Little Jeffy, no stranger to the hereditary foot-in-mouth condition passed down to him by his father, gave his two cents on why the moved-in walls will make for a better experience for the dozens of fans in attendance at Citi Field this year.  Given the team’s current financial state, perhaps he should have kept those two cents to himself, especially when these were his words:

“I think fans are going to like (the new dimensions).  People would rather see a 9-7 game than a 2-1 game, for one thing.  And I think players are going to perform better, and they’re going to like that, too.”

So let me get this straight.  Little Jeffy Wilpon believes his customers would rather see a 9-7 game at Citi Field.  Now, I’m assuming he wants the Mets to score the nine runs in this scenario, but since he’s a Wilpon, that assumption can’t always be made.  Therefore, he’s saying that fans want to see Mets pitchers give up seven runs in a ballgame.

For most teams, giving up seven runs in a game means taxing the bullpen (been there, done that), while causing the starting pitchers to lose confidence in their ability.  It also leads to demotions and early promotions to minor leaguers who have no business being called up so soon.

Who wants people to say Johan Santana came off the DL too soon because he allowed a handful of runs in five innings?  How much more of Mike Pelfrey getting shelled can we handle?  If R.A. Dickey starts giving up run after run, will we start seeing #BlameMountKilimanjaro hashtags on Sandy Alderson’s tweets?  No one wants any of that to happen.  Well, almost no one.

Little Jeffy Wilpon would have no problem with any of that because he’s in tune with his fan base and knows we want 9-7 games instead of pitchers’ duels.  Right.  He knows us so well.  In fact, we would have invited our good buddy over for dinner by now but we’re afraid he’d take our silverware home.

This is what Little Jeffy should have said if he didn’t want to stick his foot in his mouth:

“People would rather see us score nine runs instead of two.”

(No mention of how many runs the other team will be scoring.  Perhaps it’s a 9-7 game, but it could also be a complete-game 9-0 shutout.  What fan wouldn’t like the best of both worlds?)

“People would rather see 400-foot bombs land behind the fence and not in opponents’ gloves.” 

(He’d get an “Amen” from the blue and orange congregation who are tired of Jason Bay still chasing Richard Hidalgo on the Mets’ all-time home run list.)

“People would stop asking us to sell the team if we won a few more ballgames.” 

(Okay, that has nothing to do with his 9-7 quote, but at least he wouldn’t be sticking his foot in his mouth with that response.)


The fences at Citi Field will be lower and closer to home plate than they’ve been since the park opened in 2009.  Until the season starts, there’s no way of knowing if this will benefit the Mets or their opponents more.  Jeff Wilpon is counting on the cosmetic changes helping the Mets in both the standings and in ticket sales.  In fact, he’s sure his patrons are going to like it.  After all, he knows exactly what we want.

For his sake, Little Jeffy better be right.  His father has already stuck his own foot in his mouth on multiple occasions.  This is one family tradition that doesn’t need to passed down from one generation to the next.  Isn’t that right, Papa Smirk? 

Where Have All The Shea Stadium Players Gone?

Since late July, the Mets have parted ways with several players.  First, it was Carlos Beltran leaving his heart in New York to go to San Francisco.  Then Jose Reyes decided to take the money and run the basepaths in Miami.  Soon after, Angel Pagan flapped his wings to the Bay Area.  Even Nick Evans took the job security by signing in Pittsburgh.

What do all these players have in common, including the too-good-for-Triple-A, too-blah-for-the-major-leagues Nick Evans?  All four of them played for the Mets at Shea Stadium.

With the departure of Beltran, Reyes, Pagan and Evans, the Mets are now left with only six players who played home games at Shea Stadium.  The current longest tenured Met, David Wright, played his first five seasons at Shea.  Meanwhile, Mike Pelfrey came aboard for cups of coffee in 2006 and 2007, followed by his first full season during Shea's last year.

The short list of Shea players also includes Johan Santana, Daniel Murphy, Jonathon Niese and Bobby Parnell.  All four made it just in time for Shea's farewell season, but only Santana was on the team for the entire season.  Murphy played his first game at Shea in August 2008, while Niese waited until mid-September and Parnell almost didn't make it in time, not appearing in a game at Shea until the ballpark's final homestand.

There was once another New York team whose stadium was razed.  You might have heard about them.  They played their home games at 55 Sullivan Place.  Still doesn't ring a bell?  Well, I'm sure the patriarch of the Wilpon family will be more than happy to tell you about them in great detail.

Forget "Where's Waldo?".  Let's play "Where's Wilpon?".  You know he's somewhere in this photo.

In 1957, the Brooklyn Dodgers left Kings County to move to Los Angeles.  As late as 1966, there were still five players who played home games at Ebbets Field toiling for the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Those players (Jim Gilliam, John Roseboro, Don Drysdale, Johnny Podres and some guy named Koufax) all remained with the team long after they switched coasts, with Roseboro remaining a Dodger until 1967 and Drysdale playing his final game in Los Angeles in 1969.

In addition, one former Brooklyn Dodger was still playing in the major leagues into the 1970s, finishing his career as a New York Met.  Bob Aspromonte played one game for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1956, then returned to the Dodgers for parts of two seasons in 1960 and 1961.  In 1971, he became the last former Brooklyn Dodger to play in the major leagues, playing 104 games at third base for the Mets.

Although Bob Aspromonte might be the answer to the trivia question, "who was the final Brooklyn Dodger to play in the major leagues?", to Mets fans, he's known as one of the reasons the team felt the need to trade away Nolan Ryan.

Aspromonte's poor season at the plate in 1971 (.225, 5 HR, 33 RBI), along with the lack of development by third-year player Wayne Garrett, led the Mets to search elsewhere for a third baseman who could hit for average and power.  Their search ended with shortstop (not third baseman) Jim Fregosi, at the cost of Nolan Ryan.  Fregosi's time as a productive hitter pretty much ended there as well, as did the career of the last Brooklyn Dodger.

Johan Santana was the last Mets pitcher to record a win at Shea Stadium.  Now he's left to wonder if he'll also be the final current Met to have played his home games there.

With his recent injury history, Johan Santana is doubtful to be a Met after his current contract expires in 2013 (although there is a club option for 2014).  Similarly, David Wright is only under team control until next year.  If Mike Pelfrey doesn't return to form, he might be writing his ticket out of New York as well.

Do you see where this is going?  There is a real possibility that within six or seven years of Shea Stadium's final game, there might be no one left on the Mets who could say they were there when we all Shea'd Goodbye.

Nearly a decade after Ebbets Field closed for good, several former Brooklyn players still had "Dodgers" emblazoned on their chests.  Less than half a decade after Shea shut down, the number of players who could call it home is dwindling to a precious few.

Where have all the Shea Stadium players gone?  If things don't change, there will be none left very soon.

Joey's Soapbox: The Calm Before The Storm

Have you noticed that I’ve stayed silent about the Mets in 2012?  Ihaven’t climbed on my soapbox in over a month.  Why haven’t I gone on achicken nacho-fueled rant in some time?   The answer is simple, really.

Shhhh.  Be vewwy, vewwy quiet.  The Wilpons are hunting wabbits.  Or at least it seems as if that's what they're doing.

Things have been very quiet around Citi Field this offseason.  Otherthan a brief flurry of activity at the Winter Meetings to solidify thebullpen and the continuation of the OWS movement (Operation Whittling Salary) by replacingAngel Pagan with Andres Torres, the Mets have not added many players tothe team that succeeded in furthering the tradition of fourth placefinishes in Flushing.

Instead, they’re going by the time honoredtradition (and by time honored, I mean since 2009) of adding playersfrom within.  These players are the ones coming off injury-shortenedseasons or seasons in which they didn’t take the field in a game at all.

Every player scheduled to start in the infield in 2012 did not playfull seasons in New York.  First baseman Ike Davis missed the rest ofthe season after playing footsie with David Wright at Coors Field inMay.  Second baseman Daniel Murphy might have competed with Jose Reyesfor the National League batting title had he not been spiked whiletrying to lay a tag on the Braves' Jose Constanza.  Third basemanDavid Wright injured his back against the Astros and missed two months. At least shortstop Ruben Tejada didn’t get hurt.  But he did start the2011 season fielding grounders hit by minor leaguers in Buffalo.

The starting rotation is also counting on the walking wounded from 2011to make a triumphant return in 2012.  The last time Johan Santanapitched in a major league game, the Texas Rangers were still in searchof their first American League pennant.  Jonathon Niese is alsoattempting to pitch an entire season without checking in to the DLHotel.  Both pitchers expect to be on the mound during the Mets’ firsthomestand in April.

With David Wright entering the final guaranteed year of the contract hesigned an eternity ago (2006 is an eternity to Mets fans such as myselfwho have memories, however faint, of a time when the team was alegitimate contender), he should have a bounceback campaign in 2012. Maybe.

Daniel Murphy could resume doubling opponents to death (Murphy hit 28 doubles in only 391 at-bats before suffering his season-ending injury), assuminghis defense at second base doesn’t send him back to the bench.

And what about Jason Bay?  (Thought I had forgotten about him, didn’tyou?)  The walls at Citi Field have been lowered and moved in.  But howwill that help him on the road, where he hit .215 with only seven doubles, six homers and 28 RBI in 2011?  In addition, with Reyes (39 steals) and Pagan (32 steals) gone,is Bay going to have the added responsibility of being one of the topbase stealers on the team?  He’s quietly reached double digits insteals in each of his two seasons as a Met.  Who else is going to stealbases on the team besides David Wright (13 steals in 2011) and AndresTorres (19 steals as a Giant in 2011)?

Is this a celebration for a two-run homer or a double steal?  In 2012, it could be both.

Despite all the injuries that have beset the Mets since they movedacross the parking lot to Citi Field, they’ve still managed to win atleast 70 games in each of the last three seasons and have averaged 78wins over the last two campaigns.  That may not seem like much, butthink of all the walk-off losses created by the shaky bullpen, theballs that clanged off the former Great Wall of Flushing instead ofgoing over it, not to mention all the (you know it’s coming) INJURIES! Surely, this team can find a way to add four wins to what they’veaveraged over the past two years, right?  If they do, that would givethem 82 wins.  And what does 82 wins give you?  A WINNING RECORD!

It may be easier said than done, but why can’t the 2012 Mets win 82games?  Sure, it seems as if every team in the National League Eastimproved by leaps and bounds.  But remember that just seven years ago,the Washington Nationals played in an über-competitive NL East.  TheBraves won their 14^th consecutive division title with 90wins.  The Phillies and Mets were up-and-coming teams who were on theirway to becoming the rivals they were over the next three seasons.  Eventhe Marlins finished with a winning record and were just two yearsremoved from their second World Series championship.  Despite all theintense competition in the division, the little team that could inWashington still managed to win 81 games.

It’s not impossible for the Mets to finish with a winning record in2012.  They just have to be consistent and play the game.  All teams gothrough their share of injuries and cold streaks.  But it’s the goodteams that find a way to overcome those obstacles.  Right now, the Metsare not a great team.  They don’t have the personnel to pose alegitimate threat to the Phillies in the NL East.  But why can’t theybe a good team?

Eighty-two wins.  That’s all the Mets need to be a winning team.  The2005 Mets won 83 games after finishing with losing records in each oftheir previous three seasons.  The following year, they were one winaway from the World Series.  This year’s Mets are also coming off threeconsecutive losing campaigns.  I’m not crazy enough to assume thatwinning 82 games this year will push the Mets near a pennant in 2013. But it would be a step in the right direction.

There are many question marks surrounding the 2012 Mets.  Will theinfield be able to stay together for a full season without succumbingto the injury bug?  Will Jason Bay realize that it’s okay to hit a ballover the wall every once in a while?  Will Ruben Tejada, Lucas Duda andDillon Gee - all members of the 2011 Buffalo Bisons’ Opening Day roster - be able to continuetheir development now that they’re assured a spot on this year’s majorleague roster?  And then there’s the Johan Santana question…

All teams have question marks.  Although the front office was mostlyquiet this offseason, some questions have been answered, particularlyin the bullpen.  Now it’s up to the players to provide the otheranswers, or else the quiet offseason will lead to a quiet summer atCiti Field.  Oh, well.  At least the line for chicken nachos won't be very long if that happens.

Pat Burrell Retires: Who Will Be The New Met Killer?

There have been many players in history who have had good careers but turned it up a notch whenever they played the Mets.  For example, former Giants pitcher Mike Krukow had a decent career in the major leagues, going 124-117 in 14 seasons.  However, against the Mets, he pitched like Cy Young, going 22-7.  Krukow did not defeat any other team in the National League more than 13 times.  And who can forget the quiet dominance of PSSST (otherwise known as the Pitching School of Smiley, Smith and Tomlin)?

In the early '90s, the Pirates' trio of John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin were mediocre to poor against all other teams that didn't have blue and orange in their color scheme, but they morphed into Greg Maddux (the all-time leader in wins against the Mets) whenever New York came to town.

Smiley, Smith and Tomlin combined to go 223-237 over their major league careers against teams that didn't have Mr. Met as their mascot.  Of course, against the Mets, they were 33-19.  Tomlin was the big surprise of the trio.  Against the Mets, he was a perfect 9-0 in five years in the majors.  He won a grand total of 21 games against everyone else (against 31 losses).

As far as hitters go, all I have to say is "La-a-a-a-rry" and you know which Met nemesis I'm referring to.

That brings us to Pat Burrell.  In 12 years in the major leagues, Burrell was a decent power hitter, slugging 292 career home runs.  However, against the Mets, Burrell was Babe Ruth.  The former Phillie played exactly one full season's worth of games against the Mets, batting against them in 162 games.  In those games, Burrell socked 42 HR.  His second-favorite team to homer against was the Florida Marlins, but he only took them deep 26 times.

Earlier this week, Pat Burrell retired from baseball at the age of 35.  Although there is now one less Met killer to worry about, that doesn't mean there aren't any others waiting in the wings to take over for Burrell.  Here are the candidates that the Mets and their fans should worry about:

Corey Hart

The Bernie Brewer lookalike has never been more than a decent hitter in the major leagues, batting .277 in eight seasons.  However, against the Mets, Hart is a .317 career hitter.  Although he has only started 28 games versus the Mets, Hart has scored and driven in nearly a run per game (24 runs, 23 RBI), while launching six home runs.  Hart suffered from various nagging injuries in 2011, but in 2010, he torched the Mets for four homers and 12 RBI in only seven games, which included a walk-off homer and a six-RBI game.

Troy Tulowitzki

The Mets should count their stars that Tulowitzki plays in the NL West.  In 30 games, Tulo has bludgeoned Mets' pitching for a .328 average, six doubles, two triples and seven home runs.  His slugging percentage against the Mets (.595) is nearly 100 points higher than his career mark (.505).  And of course, despite playing half his games in the Mile High City, it was at spacious Citi Field that Tulowitzki hit four home runs in four games in 2011.  He supplied the bat while his teammates brought their brooms, sweeping the four-game series in New York.

Josh Johnson

It's a good thing Johnson is an annual candidate for the disabled list, or else his record against the Mets would be far scarier than it is.  In 14 starts versus New York, Johnson is 8-1 with a 2.68 ERA.  As hard as it is for the Mets to score against Johnson, they find it even harder to take him deep.  In 87⅓ innings against New York, Johnson has allowed a mere three home runs.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that no other team in the National League has lost to Johnson more than the Mets have.  Just imagine how bad it could be if Johnson had more than 48 career victories.

Cole Hamels

Wait, what?  Hamels is 3-10 against the Mets in his major league career.  How could he possibly be a Met killer?  It's simple, really.  He's due.  And if he's not, he'll find other ways to kill us.  In 2010, when he realized he couldn't beat the Mets with his arm, he decided to break our hearts with his bat.  His sixth-inning single against R.A. Dickey prevented the knuckleballer from recording the first no-hitter in franchise history.  Dickey had to settle for a complete game one-hit shutout.  One year later, another Hamels-Dickey matchup took place.  This time, Dickey took a no-hitter into the seventh inning before Shane Victorino broke it up with a one-out double.  Of course, Dickey received no credit for his yeoman-like effort in the 2-1 Mets victory because Hamels matched zeroes with him.  Hamels might be an ass, but he always finds a way to kill the Mets, even in games where he takes the loss.

Jason Bay

As an opponent, he was a Met killer, banging out 16 extra-base hits, including 8 HR, in 32 games.  He also averaged nearly an RBI per game, driving in 29 runs against the Mets.  Now that he's on the team, he's finding new ways to be a Met killer.  It took Bay 32 games to hit 8 HR AGAINST the Mets.  It took him 113 games to hit 8 HR FOR the Mets.  Let's put it this way.  In two seasons, Jason Bay is still three home runs short of Richard Hidalgo's career total as a Met, and Hidalgo only played 86 games in New York.  Bay killed the Mets as an opponent.  He's doing the same thing as a Met.

Fred Wilpon

Duh.  He's the biggest Met killer of them all.  He won't sell the team.  He won't break his souvenir Sandy Koufax piggy bank to improve the team.  Basically, he's like Rachel Phelps, only worse.  For those who are not into classic cinema, Phelps was the fictional owner of the Cleveland Indians in the film Major League.  Wanting to move the team from Cleveland to Miami, she decided to put the worst players on the field so that fans wouldn't come out to see them.  Why is Wilpon worse than Rachel Phelps?  Because he's making the team worse but instead of moving to Miami, he just allowed his shortstop to relocate there.  Of course, if he could move the team to 55 Sullivan Place in Brooklyn, that would be a different story.


Pat Burrell will no longer be terrorizing the Mets and their fans, choosing to retire rather than continuing to feast on Mets' pitching.  But that doesn't mean the Mets won't have new people to fear.

The new Met killer might come from another division or might come from within the National League East.  He might be a player who finds interesting ways to break our hearts or he might be a player breaking our hearts from within.  He might even be president of the Sandy Koufax fan club.

Regardless, as long as the Mets take the field, there will always be someone out there who will not do much against other teams, but will use the Mets as his own personal chew toy.  That's the nature of the beast.  It's a shame that beast can't suit up for the Mets every once in a while to feast on another team for a change.

The Perfect Way For The Mets To Stick It To The Marlins

As all Mets fans know, the Marlins have been a thorn in the team's side since 2007.  First, Tom Glavine was able to retire only one more batter than I did in the 2007 regular season finale, completing the Mets' collapse.  One year later, the Marlins wouldn't get off the field after they once again eliminated the Mets (and Shea Stadium) in Game No. 162.  Three years after that, they stuck it to the Mets again, this time by signing Jose Reyes to a six-year deal worth $106 million, or about $106 million more than Fred Wilpon has stored away in his souvenir Sandy Koufax piggy bank.

In fact, if you really want to get technical about it, the Marlins have been one-upping the Mets since 1997, when they replaced the Mets as the fastest expansion team to win a World Series.  (The Marlins have since been knocked off that perch by the fourth-year Arizona Diamondbacks in 2001.)

But other than the Mets celebrating their 2006 NL East title in front of their home fans while the Marlins watched in the road dugout, they haven't really done anything that would be considered negative to the Marlins.  Are they upset that the Mets took Mike Piazza and Carlos Delgado from them?  Did Fred Wilpon insult Marlins' owner Jeffrey Loria's mother because he found out Loria grew up as a Yankee fan during the era in which the Brooklyn Dodgers kept losing to them in the World Series?

The time has come for the Mets to stand up to the Marlins once and for all.  And I know just how they can do it.

Earlier today, it was reported that Bud Selig expects two extra wild-card teams to be in place for this season, rather than the 2013 campaign.  Therefore, with five teams now qualifying for the playoffs in the National League instead of the usual four, the Marlins have reasonable expectations that they will be one of those five teams.

More than likely, the Phillies will win the NL East for the sixth consecutive season.  But the Atlanta Braves are coming off an epic late-season collapse.  The St. Louis Cardinals and Milwaukee Brewers both lost their top power hitters (Albert Pujols, Prince Fielder) to free agency.  With all those windows being opened in the National League, the Miami Marlins are poised to break through and crash the playoff party for the first time since Art Howe was supposedly managing the Mets.

Like many other teams competing for the wild card spots, the Marlins might not play a potential clinching game until the final series of the season.  And who, pray tell, will the Marlins be playing on October 1, 2 and 3 in front of their dozens of fans at their brand spanking-new ballpark?

The New York Mets.

Wouldn't it be something if the Marlins needed to win their final series of the season and the newly-signed (and former Met) Heath Bell blew a save or two to the Mets?  Or how about if Jose Reyes, representing the tying run in the bottom of the ninth was caught stealing to end a game?  What if the Marlins' new ace, Mark Buehrle, only lasted a third of an inning in the regular season finale, as the Mets battered him for run after run in the opening frame?  Would that be devastating to them?

It's been too long since the Marlins have been a thorn in the Mets' side.  Ever since Steve Trachsel's arm and Jose Valentin's bat took them down in the 2006 division clincher, the artists formerly known as the Florida Marlins have been giving the Mets and their fans recurring nightmares.

Hey, we all know the Marlins are just one poor finish away from conducting their once-a-decade fire sale.  Why not speed up the inevitable and give them a chance to do it this year?  The Marlins have been sticking it to the Mets every chance they've gotten since 2007.  It's time for the Mets to stick it right back to them in 2012.  Ya gotta believe.

Joey's Small Bites: Dodgers & Padres & Bears, Oh My! (Part One: Dodger Stadium Tour)

Greetings, my fellow Mets fans!  It's your fav'rit blogger/culinary expert/tour guide, Joey Beartran, here with another edition of Joey's Small Bites, although today's bites might be slightly larger than normal because I'll be discussing my recent tour to the National League ballparks in Southern California, focusing on Dodger Stadium in this post and Petco Park in a separate post.

That's right, Mets fans!  The cast and crew of Studious Metsimus was California Dreamin', and we've got the pictures to prove it.  So sit back, grab yourself a Pink's hot dog or a California roll (I'll pass on the roll, as I'm not big on sushi), and enjoy our tour recap!

 It might never rain in Southern California, but it sure gets cloudy sometimes.

The tour of Dodger Stadium began in the upper level, where they have their own parking lot and entrance.  It's the only stadium in the majors where a fan can enter through the upper deck.  My sister and tour companion, Iggy Beartran, enjoyed the view of Chavez Ravine from up here, but what we loved the most was the proximity of the entrance to the nearest Dodger Dogs stand, even if was closed for business.  (Hey, didn't they get the memo that we were coming?)

Did they close the Dodger Dogs stand because we added a little orange to the Dodger blue?

Our Dodger Stadium tour guide took us to many parts of the stadium, and asked us Dodgers trivia questions along the way, such as which players' numbers have been retired by the Dodgers.  It surprised me that my Studious Metsimus colleague correctly matched all of the retired numbers to the players who wore them.

Of course, Fred Wilpon could have named them all as well, but he would have chimed in and said that No. 32 should also be retired in perpetuity by major league baseball in addition to Jackie Robinson's No. 42.  Not only would he want No. 32 retired for BFF Sandy Koufax, but by taking that number off the table, he wouldn't have to give it to a one-and-done player like safe school-seeker Mike Hampton again.

One went to shul, the other seeked schools.  One of them also had a far better career than the other.

The Los Angeles Dodgers have plenty of tributes to their history in Brooklyn.  Although they do not have a gargantuan No. 42 inside a Jackie Robinson rotunda like Citi Field does, they do have awards and various rare photos of their time in Kings County.

On the way to those awards and photos, we passed through a hallway that has the names of all the players who played at least one game for the Brooklyn and Los Angeles Dodgers painted on the walls.  We had a tough time locating Mike Piazza (we were assured that he was up there) and had fun trying to find other former Mets on the wall.  Among the names we found were Gil Hodges, Darryl Strawberry, Eddie Murray, Pedro Astacio (yes, he was a Met), Bobby Valentine, Roger Cedeño, Bob Ojeda, Gary Carter and a certain pitcher who recorded the final out of the 1986 World Series.  It was an original tribute to the team's long history, one that I wouldn't mind having the Mets copy.

I love Jesse Orosco, but hate that he won a World Series ring with the 1988 Dodgers.

From there, we saw the tribute to the Brooklyn Dodgers, which was done quite tastefully without going over the top, the way a tribute should be done (I hope you're reading this, Mr. Wilpon).  There were photos of the Boys of Summer, including the 1953 Dodgers who won a franchise record 105 games (but lost the World Series to the Yankees for the millionth time), the actual home plate used at Ebbets Field from 1913 to 1957, and many (and I mean MANY) photos of Gil Hodges.

It's a shame that the Mets only have an entrance at Citi Field named after Gil Hodges, when he's just as instrumental in Mets history as a manager as he was to the Dodgers as a player.  Although the Dodgers have never retired his number (that honor is bestowed to players in the Hall of Fame), they have many tributes to Hodges inside the ballpark.  Among them are old photos, buttons and his No. 14 jersey.

The Dodgers show more love for Gil Hodges in L.A. than the Mets do in N.Y.

There is one piece of Brooklyn Dodger history that takes precedence over all other items and memorabilia found in Dodger Stadium.  Earlier I mentioned the Brooklyn Dodgers' loss to the New York Yankees in the 1953 World Series after they had established a franchise record with 105 regular season victories.  Two years later, the Dodgers and Yankees squared off again in the World Series, but this time the results were different.

In 1955, the Dodgers won their only World Series championship in Brooklyn, defeating the Yankees in seven games to take the title.  The Los Angeles Dodgers have an entire section devoted to that team, one that includes pennants and photos and would have included a World Series trophy had one existed at the time (World Series trophies weren't handed out until 1967).

Of course, no trip to a major league ballpark would be complete without the obligatory trip to the dugout and the field.  So let's not dilly dally with words here.  How about I just show you the pictures, including one of our tour guide's special Dodgers footwear and one of my Studious Metsimus colleague wearing his "Shea" shirt in the Dodger Stadium dugout.  Hey, if Fred Wilpon can show his love of Ebbets Field in New York, then we can show our love of Shea Stadium in Los Angeles.  Enjoy!

That'll do it for Part One of "Dodgers & Padres & Bears, Oh My!".  Please join me for Part Two, where I'll talk about our trip to Petco Park in San Diego.  The Padres don't have nearly the history of the Dodgers, but they do have a history and they're quite proud of it.

Until then, keep counting down the days to pitchers and catchers, don't buy any Brooklyn Dodgers merchandise from a vendor whose nametag says F. Wilpon, and let's go Mets!

"B" is for Beartran, that's good enough for me!

"B" is for Beartran, that's good enough for me!

"B" is for Beartran, that's good enough for me-e-e-e!

Oh, Beartran, Beartran, Beartran starts with "B"!

Song Parody: "Sign" (Dedicated To Jose Reyes)

We all know what the top news story will be around Citi Field over the next few months.  All you have to do is read any of the Mets-centric blogs out there and you'll be inundated with posts about the need for the Mets to re-sign Jose Reyes.

At Studious Metsimus, we'd also like to chime in on the Jose Reyes situation.  But how could we go about doing that without sounding like every other fan with a blog?  The answer is simple, really.  We'll do it in the form of a song parody!

In the past, we've parodied Oliver Perez ("Ollie B. Gone") and Luis Castillo ("Forget Lou") after they were released from the team, so why not go the opposite route and write a parody asking the Mets to keep a player instead of bidding them a not-so-fond adieu?

So it came down to trying to find a song that would be relevant to the topic at hand.  We considered songs from various eras and genres (don't ask about the Hall & Oates parody - we're saving that one for another day) and almost chose "The Sign" by Swedish music icons Ace of Base. (What, did you think I was going to say Roxette?)

However, every time we started humming the song in our heads, we kept sticking in a "bork, bork, bork" in the chorus, which messed up the dynamic of the song.  As anyone not named Waldorf and Statler could tell you, anytime you hum a Swedish song, eventually your thoughts will turn to a certain Scandinavian culinary artist.

 Will the Mets re-sign Jose Reyes or will they "bork" things up again?

So which song did we pick to skewer now that Hall & Oates and Ace of Base were no longer in the picture?  Like Bobby Bonilla's cranial CAT scan, the choice was a no-brainer.

In 1971, the song "Signs" became a top ten hit for the Five Man Electrical Band.  It reappeared in the top ten in 1990 when Tesla covered the song.  Now it's back for a third time, in the hopes that Jose Reyes re-"signs" with the Mets.

Put on your best blue and orange karaoke clothes and get ready to jam with your fellow Mets fans.  It's time for "Sign"!


And Wilpon said,
"Long-dreaded free-agent people need not apply."
So he tucked his dreads under his do-rag
And he went in to ask him why.
Fred said, "you look like a fine shortstop
and I'd want to re-sign you.
You're a champ with a bat, but I imagine that
your days as a Met are through."

Oh!  Sign!  Sign!  Wish Jose would sign.
Put his John Hancock on the dotted line.
Do this, don't delay.
Can't you please just sign?!

And Wilpon said,
"Anybody caught hot doggin'
Will be cut on sight."
So he scaled the dugout fence and he yelled at Fred's box,
"Hey, that s**t just ain't right!
You brought in the fences for balls to fly out
And I said that I wanted in.
If Koufax was here, he'd say it to your face
Fred, go build me a winner!"

Sign!  Sign!  Wish Jose would sign.
Put his John Hancock on the dotted line.
Do this, don't delay.
Can't you please just sign?!

Now hey Mr. Wilpon, can't you read?
You must re-sign Jose and his lightning speed. 
You're on watch so you must heed
Jose is supposed to be-e-e-e....here!

But Wilpon said,
"You've got to have a four-year contract to get inside"
Ughhh!

And Wilpon said,
"Jose, you're always welcome.
Come in.  Let's discuss your pay.
Friend, you've got to understand I've no money at all
'Cause I gave it all to Jason Bay."
Jose gave Fred a blank sheet of paper
And he told him he wouldn't sign
He said "Thank you, Fred, but don't patronize me
I'll move on and do just fine."

No!  Sign!  Sign!  Now Jose won't sign.
Won't put his John Hancock on the dotted line.
Screw you, Fred and Jeff.
Could not make him sign.

Sign!  Sign!  Now Jose won't sign.
Won't put his John Hancock on the dotted line.
Screw you, Fred and Jeff.
Last place shall be thine...

Freddy Got (Middle) Fingered

The Mets didn’t have a game scheduled for today, but they’re still all over the back pages of the tabloids. No one threw a firecracker in a crowded parking lot. No one threw bleach on anyone. No one shouted homophobic slurs at anyone. In fact, no players were involved in the controversy. But the man who pays them is.
Mets’ chief cook and bottle washer Fred Wilpon made some interesting comments recently that were published in this week’s edition of the New Yorker magazine. In particular, he singled out four of the team’s best players. But perhaps the article may have been edited before it went to print.
The Studious Metsimus staff believes we may know what Mr. Wilpon really said to the New Yorker. After all, we once got an e-mail from him that started with “Dear Mets Friend”, so you could say we know what makes him tick. (Never mind that thousands of other people received the same e-mail. He sent it to us with love!) Here is what was printed in the New Yorker followed by what he really meant to say:

What He Said:“(Jose Reyes) thinks he’s going to get Carl Crawford money. … He’s had everything wrong with him. He won’t get it.”
What He Meant:“I wish I had Carl Crawford’s money.”

What He Said:“We had some schmuck in New York who paid (Carlos Beltran) based on that one series. He’s sixty-five to seventy percent of what he was.”
What He Meant:“He hit the Cardinals so well in the ’04 NLCS. Why couldn’t he take the g*dd*mn bat off his shoulders against them in the ’06 NLCS? Adam Wainwright’s got a good curve, but it ain’t no Sandy Koufax curve.”

What He Said:“(David Wright is a) really good kid. A very good player. Not a superstar.”What He Meant:“David Wright is a really good kid. A very good player. But he’s not Sandy Koufax.”

What He Said:“(Ike Davis is a) good hitter. … Sh**ty team – good hitter.”
What He Meant:“Ike Davis is a sh**ty hitter on a good team. No, wait. Ike Davis is a good hitter on a team with a sh**ty owner. No, that can't be right. Ike Davis took a sh*t today. Ah, f**k it! Ike Davis is Jewish like Sandy Koufax - that makes him good.”



Fred Wilpon has been alive for three-quarters of a century. He’s been collecting Social Security for over a decade now. (Hope he’s saving it.) In other words, he should be retired already! If Julio Franco could walk away before he was half a century old, than why can't his former employer do the same?
If Fred Wilpon truly loved the Mets, he’d sell the team and quit while he’s behind. The Mets have a long way to go before they can hand out World Series rings. Hopefully, the next time they do, none of them will say Wilpon on it.

An Open Letter To Brooklyn Dodger Lover Fred Wilpon

Dear Mr. Wilpon,

I was recently at the Mets Team Store on the Field Level at Citi Field looking for some Mets T-shirts. After being pleasantly surprised to finally see R.A. Dickey and Angel Pagan number shirts for sale, my jaw dropped when I saw yet another piece of Brooklyn Dodgers merchandise.

This wasn't yet another tribute to Jackie Robinson or Ebbets Field. This was something else entirely. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you photo documentation of the latest shirt for sale at the Mets Team Store.


A Sandy Koufax Brooklyn Dodgers shirt? Really? Let's look up a few things about Mr. Koufax to share with our readers.

Sandy Koufax had a great career in the major leagues. He finished his career with a .655 winning percentage (165 wins, 87 losses), pitched four no-hitters (a record at the time), struck out 382 batters in a single season (also a record at the time), won three Cy Young Awards and was the National League MVP in 1963. He also was a member of four pennant winners and three World Series champions. As a result of his outstanding career, Koufax was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1972, his first year of eligibility.


That's a lot of accomplishments for a pitcher whose career was cut short because of arthritis. But that's not what stands out most for me on his Hall of Fame plaque. Let's focus on Sandy himself, or rather, let's focus on the cap he's wearing in the plaque. What's that on his cap? Oh, yeah...

It's a LOS ANGELES DODGERS cap!

Now why is he wearing an LA on his cap rather than a "B" for Brooklyn? That's because Koufax did very little in Brooklyn as a Dodger.

From 1955-1957, the last three seasons the Dodgers played at Ebbets Field, Sandy Koufax's record was 9-10, or the same record compiled by Jonathon Niese in 2010. He was also very wild, walking 108 batters in 204.2 innings and posted a 4.00 ERA.

Once the Dodgers packed their bags and left Brooklyn for LA, Koufax blossomed into one of the all-time greats in baseball.

So why on Earth is Citi Field selling Sandy Koufax Brooklyn Dodgers shirts when he did practically nothing as one of Dem Bums? It surely can't be because the Mets appreciate pitchers who go 9-10 while pitching in one of the outer boroughs. If that were the case, then the store would also have a full stock of Jonathon Niese T-shirts (which they don't; what's up with that?).

No, Mr. Wilpon. You know the reason as well as I do. Sandy Koufax was a childhood friend of yours. The two of you went to Lafayette High School in Brooklyn together. Sandy comes to spring training as a favor to you to talk to your pitchers.

We get it. You're BFFs. Fine.

But please. Sandy Koufax wasn't a Met. He was barely a Brooklyn Dodger. Stop trying to make it seem like he was. The Mets don't play at Ebbets Field. They don't have a "B" on their hats. Therefore, if you could, we'd like you to stop trying to shove the Brooklyn Dodgers down our throats. We know this is probably hard for you to do, so perhaps we can reach a compromise.

Do you remember which two players led the major leagues in home runs and RBI during the 1950s? Maybe the photos below will help.



The man in the photo on the left is Duke Snider, who played in Brooklyn for 11 seasons (1947-1957). The man on the right is Gil Hodges, who came up to the Brooklyn Dodgers for good in 1947 after playing in one game for the team in 1943.

Both men played the majority of their major league careers as Brooklyn Dodgers, winning six pennants and one World Series in Brooklyn. They also have one other thing in common. Let's roll out the photo album one more time to assist you.



Your eyes are not deceiving you, Mr. Wilpon. They were indeed both members of your New York Mets.

Duke Snider played one season for the Mets, making the All-Star team in 1963. Gil Hodges played parts of two seasons for the Mets (1962-63), hitting the first home run in franchise history on April 11, 1962. He also did something on a grander scale seven years later. It may or may not have involved winning a championship. I'll have to look that up.

Do you see what I'm getting at, Mr. Wilpon? Why are you selling Sandy Koufax merchandise when you can sell Duke Snider or Gil Hodges gear? They were both Brooklyn Dodgers far longer than Koufax was and contributed to more success in Brooklyn than your boyhood buddy did. Plus, they have the added appeal to Mets fans because they both donned the orange and blue at some point.

As of right now, there is nothing for Duke Snider at Citi Field and only a first base entrance named after Gil Hodges. I know I'm not the only fan who's appalled that you're trying to sell Sandy Koufax as a Brooklyn Dodger to Mets fans. In fact, my wife (you might know her as "The Coop") also has an opinion on the lovefest between you and the Brooklyn Dodgers, which she will share with you now:


Speaking of both teams for whom to pay homage, you also discredit the origins of the “orange” from the term “orange and blue” in your child-like fascination with the Brooklyn Dodgers, and that’s the New York Giants.

While the Dodgers were quick to embrace their new identity on the west coast with winning a championship in two years, the now-San Francisco Giants had to do nothing BUT embrace their New York roots. And why was that? Because prior to 2010, they had not won a championship in their 50 year old home and a lot of their rich history was based in New York. Even when the team won, they visited the old site of the Polo Grounds (where both the New York Giants and…oh some other team…oh yes, the New York Mets once upon a time played) with the Commissioner’s Trophy to pay homage to where their history originated. I don’t believe that the Dodgers visited the old site of Ebbets Field after winning a championship so quickly after switching coasts. The Giants embrace New York and the Mets need to embrace the Giants history as well.

It’s not so much the Koufax jersey or this blatant “to the victor go the spoils” attitude at Citi Field that is troublesome -- there is also no mention of New York Giants history. You’d like to be fair, then how about this? In addition to selling Brooklyn memorabilia, why not include the Giants as well in a nostalgia store? Not to mention, one of the most storied baseball players in history, Willie Mays, played for both New York and San Francisco Giants AND ended his career with the Mets. Wouldn’t it be great to not only acknowledge those teams but to also have an actual connection to the Mets? There’s no limitation to having Giants or Dodgers jerseys either in the nostalgia store – you can sell old Mets jerseys as well and even other items such as collectible yearbooks and souvenir cups.


My wife and I are just two people, Mr. Wilpon. But we're not the only ones who feel that you have overdone it with your homage to the Brooklyn Dodgers at Citi Field.

You're the owner of the New York Mets. You also love the Brooklyn Dodgers. If you absolutely must share that Dodger love with the fans who pay their way into your homage to Ebbets Field to see the Mets play, at least share it with players who have ties to both teams. Is that so hard to do, Mr. Wilpon?

Peace, love, Mets, y'all,
Ed Leyro and Taryn Cooper