Former Red Sox Closer Lights A Papelbon-fire

What is it about becoming a member of the Phillies that gets certain players to say things to rile opposing fanbases?  It began so innocently five years ago when Jimmy Rollins proclaimed the Phillies the team to beat in the NL East.  Then Cole Hamels called the Mets chokers after the Phillies won the World Series in 2008.  Now one of the newest members of the Phillies has made a comment that is sure to get the attention of his former fans.

On Thursday, Phillies' closer Jonathan Papelbon told a Philadelphia radio station that his new team's fans "tend to know the game a little better" than Red Sox fans.  He also went on to say that fans in Boston are "a little bit more hysterical when it comes to the game of baseball".

Oh, really?  I believe now would be a good time for me to respond to Papelbon's comments by quoting the great philosopher, Jules Winnfield, when I say "Well, allow me to retort".

Prior to 2007, Phillies fans stayed away from the ballpark in droves.  When Citizens Bank Park opened in 2004, the Phillies averaged 40,125 patrons per home date.  The luster of the new ballpark faded quickly, as attendance plummeted in CBP's second year, with an average of 32,905 fans showing up to see a decent Phillies team finish 88-74.  The 88 victories represented the highest total for a Phillies club since the 1993 National League pennant-winning team.  It was the Phillies' most successful season in 12 years, and home attendance DROPPED by 20%.

Although the Mets ran away with the NL East title in 2006, the Phillies competed for the wild card until the final week of the season.  They fell short in their quest, but not by much, finishing three games behind the playoff-bound Los Angeles Dodgers.  Despite contending for a playoff spot all year, the average attendance for a Phillies' home game in 2006 was 33,356.  Contention brought in an extra 451 fans per game compared to the 2005 team.

Meanwhile, Boston's Fenway Park, which doesn't even have a capacity of 40,000, has drawn over 30,000 fans per game in every season since 1999.  The last time the Red Sox failed to draw over 2,000,000 fans in a non-strike-shortened season was in 1985, which was the same year Jonathan Papelbon turned five.

Of course, Phillies fans, according to Papelbon, know the game better than Red Sox fans do.  That explains why they didn't start showing up to games until after the Phillies actually won something in 2007, which Papelbon would know nothing about since he was too busy winning a World Series in Boston for those "not-as-knowledgeable" Red Sox fans.

Also, how would Papelbon know anything about what Phillies fans are like?  As a member of the Red Sox, he pitched a total of 4⅔ innings at Citizens Bank Park.  He actually pitched very well in Philadelphia, allowing no runs on one hit in five appearances against the Phillies, which means he probably heard a lot of boos from the Philly Phaithful.  Again, this clearly shows the superiority of Phillies fans over Red Sox fans when it comes to knowledge of the game, doesn't it?  When in doubt, just boo.

In 2008, Brad Lidge went 41-for-41 in save opportunities for the Phillies.  The following season, he suffered from a Jekyll and Hyde-like transformation, causing him to pitch like a post-1984 Doug Sisk.  Phillies fans shared their knowledge of four-letter words with Lidge once their post-championship hangover ended.  Is that the "knowledge" Papelbon is referring to?

I understand that Jonathan Papelbon wants his new fanbase to like him.  What player on a new team wouldn't?  But to slap the faces of his former fans with a statement that just isn't true - well, actually, we'd expect that more from a Phillies fan and not a Phillie.  Then again, maybe Papelbon is just trying to fit in with his big-mouthed teammates.

Perhaps Red Sox fan (and Studious Metsimus reader) Chris Giordano said it best when he said, "Maybe Papelbon should take it out on Red Sox management.  The fans had nothing to do with the Red Sox not re-signing him."

The Red Sox weren't aggressive in their pursuit of Papelbon.  The Phillies were.  If Papelbon had a problem with the way his former team went about the negotiating process, that's between him and the front office.  His displeasure should not bring his former fans into the mix.

Simply stated, Red Sox fans know their baseball.  They're passionate about it in a way that Papelbon will more than likely never see in Philadelphia.  Phillies fans will only come out for a winner.  Red Sox fans come out for the Red Sox.  Papelbon better hope the Phillies continue to win division titles during his four years there.  If not, the only sounds he'll be hearing at Citizens Bank Park will be coming from the crickets.  But then again, he probably already has "knowledge" of that.

Pat Burrell Retires: Who Will Be The New Met Killer?

There have been many players in history who have had good careers but turned it up a notch whenever they played the Mets.  For example, former Giants pitcher Mike Krukow had a decent career in the major leagues, going 124-117 in 14 seasons.  However, against the Mets, he pitched like Cy Young, going 22-7.  Krukow did not defeat any other team in the National League more than 13 times.  And who can forget the quiet dominance of PSSST (otherwise known as the Pitching School of Smiley, Smith and Tomlin)?

In the early '90s, the Pirates' trio of John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin were mediocre to poor against all other teams that didn't have blue and orange in their color scheme, but they morphed into Greg Maddux (the all-time leader in wins against the Mets) whenever New York came to town.

Smiley, Smith and Tomlin combined to go 223-237 over their major league careers against teams that didn't have Mr. Met as their mascot.  Of course, against the Mets, they were 33-19.  Tomlin was the big surprise of the trio.  Against the Mets, he was a perfect 9-0 in five years in the majors.  He won a grand total of 21 games against everyone else (against 31 losses).

As far as hitters go, all I have to say is "La-a-a-a-rry" and you know which Met nemesis I'm referring to.

That brings us to Pat Burrell.  In 12 years in the major leagues, Burrell was a decent power hitter, slugging 292 career home runs.  However, against the Mets, Burrell was Babe Ruth.  The former Phillie played exactly one full season's worth of games against the Mets, batting against them in 162 games.  In those games, Burrell socked 42 HR.  His second-favorite team to homer against was the Florida Marlins, but he only took them deep 26 times.

Earlier this week, Pat Burrell retired from baseball at the age of 35.  Although there is now one less Met killer to worry about, that doesn't mean there aren't any others waiting in the wings to take over for Burrell.  Here are the candidates that the Mets and their fans should worry about:

Corey Hart

The Bernie Brewer lookalike has never been more than a decent hitter in the major leagues, batting .277 in eight seasons.  However, against the Mets, Hart is a .317 career hitter.  Although he has only started 28 games versus the Mets, Hart has scored and driven in nearly a run per game (24 runs, 23 RBI), while launching six home runs.  Hart suffered from various nagging injuries in 2011, but in 2010, he torched the Mets for four homers and 12 RBI in only seven games, which included a walk-off homer and a six-RBI game.

Troy Tulowitzki

The Mets should count their stars that Tulowitzki plays in the NL West.  In 30 games, Tulo has bludgeoned Mets' pitching for a .328 average, six doubles, two triples and seven home runs.  His slugging percentage against the Mets (.595) is nearly 100 points higher than his career mark (.505).  And of course, despite playing half his games in the Mile High City, it was at spacious Citi Field that Tulowitzki hit four home runs in four games in 2011.  He supplied the bat while his teammates brought their brooms, sweeping the four-game series in New York.

Josh Johnson

It's a good thing Johnson is an annual candidate for the disabled list, or else his record against the Mets would be far scarier than it is.  In 14 starts versus New York, Johnson is 8-1 with a 2.68 ERA.  As hard as it is for the Mets to score against Johnson, they find it even harder to take him deep.  In 87⅓ innings against New York, Johnson has allowed a mere three home runs.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that no other team in the National League has lost to Johnson more than the Mets have.  Just imagine how bad it could be if Johnson had more than 48 career victories.

Cole Hamels

Wait, what?  Hamels is 3-10 against the Mets in his major league career.  How could he possibly be a Met killer?  It's simple, really.  He's due.  And if he's not, he'll find other ways to kill us.  In 2010, when he realized he couldn't beat the Mets with his arm, he decided to break our hearts with his bat.  His sixth-inning single against R.A. Dickey prevented the knuckleballer from recording the first no-hitter in franchise history.  Dickey had to settle for a complete game one-hit shutout.  One year later, another Hamels-Dickey matchup took place.  This time, Dickey took a no-hitter into the seventh inning before Shane Victorino broke it up with a one-out double.  Of course, Dickey received no credit for his yeoman-like effort in the 2-1 Mets victory because Hamels matched zeroes with him.  Hamels might be an ass, but he always finds a way to kill the Mets, even in games where he takes the loss.

Jason Bay

As an opponent, he was a Met killer, banging out 16 extra-base hits, including 8 HR, in 32 games.  He also averaged nearly an RBI per game, driving in 29 runs against the Mets.  Now that he's on the team, he's finding new ways to be a Met killer.  It took Bay 32 games to hit 8 HR AGAINST the Mets.  It took him 113 games to hit 8 HR FOR the Mets.  Let's put it this way.  In two seasons, Jason Bay is still three home runs short of Richard Hidalgo's career total as a Met, and Hidalgo only played 86 games in New York.  Bay killed the Mets as an opponent.  He's doing the same thing as a Met.

Fred Wilpon

Duh.  He's the biggest Met killer of them all.  He won't sell the team.  He won't break his souvenir Sandy Koufax piggy bank to improve the team.  Basically, he's like Rachel Phelps, only worse.  For those who are not into classic cinema, Phelps was the fictional owner of the Cleveland Indians in the film Major League.  Wanting to move the team from Cleveland to Miami, she decided to put the worst players on the field so that fans wouldn't come out to see them.  Why is Wilpon worse than Rachel Phelps?  Because he's making the team worse but instead of moving to Miami, he just allowed his shortstop to relocate there.  Of course, if he could move the team to 55 Sullivan Place in Brooklyn, that would be a different story.


Pat Burrell will no longer be terrorizing the Mets and their fans, choosing to retire rather than continuing to feast on Mets' pitching.  But that doesn't mean the Mets won't have new people to fear.

The new Met killer might come from another division or might come from within the National League East.  He might be a player who finds interesting ways to break our hearts or he might be a player breaking our hearts from within.  He might even be president of the Sandy Koufax fan club.

Regardless, as long as the Mets take the field, there will always be someone out there who will not do much against other teams, but will use the Mets as his own personal chew toy.  That's the nature of the beast.  It's a shame that beast can't suit up for the Mets every once in a while to feast on another team for a change.

Phoreshadowing The Phillies' Phuture

In making the final out of the Phillies' season for the second straight year, Ryan Howard suffered an apparent Achilles injury, falling to the ground and writhing in pain as the Cardinals celebrated their unlikely division series victory.  In a worst-case scenario (torn ACL), Howard would miss nine months or more while recovering from surgery to repair the tear.  In other words, Howard's 2012 season would be kaput.

Although Ryan Howard batted only .253 for the Phillies in 2011, he was their main power source, providing 33 HR and 116 RBI in 152 games.  For a team that plays half of its games in a hitter-friendly ballpark, Howard was the only player to hit over 20 HR.  Free-agent-to-be Raul Ibañez was second on the team with exactly 20 HR and 84 RBI.  Take out Howard and the soon-to-be 40-year-old Ibañez, and no Phillie hit more than 17 HR (Shane Victorino, of all people, hit 17 bombs) or picked up more than 63 RBI (accomplished by Jimmy Rollins, another free-agent-to-be who has already gone on the record as saying he won't accept a hometown discount to re-sign with the Phillies).

So if Howard doesn't play in 2012 and Ibañez leaves via free agency, the Phillies' lineup will look an awful lot like the Mets.  Even with those two players in the everyday lineup for Philadelphia in 2011, the Mets still scored more runs (718) than the Phillies (713), produced more doubles (309 to 258), triples (39 to 38), hits (1,477 to 1,409), stolen bases (130 to 96) and even led them in walks (571 to 539).  That's right.  The Mets, who used Daniel Murphy as their cleanup hitter for 33 games, were walked 32 more times than the Phillies, who supposedly have a more fearsome lineup.

Now take Howard and Ibañez out of that lineup and what do you have left?  A declining and oft-injured second baseman in Chase Utley, an as-yet unsigned shortstop who will be 33 in November and who has a career OBP of .329 primarily out of the leadoff spot in the batting order, and a 36-year-old third baseman who produced a .277, 5 HR, 50 RBI season in 122 games played (numbers eerily similar to Justin Turner's 2011 season). Basically, the Phillies offense will be led by Shane Victorino and Hunter Pence.  I mean, catcher Carlos Ruiz led all Phillies' starters (minimum 100 games played as a Phillie) in batting average with a .283 mark.  When your most consistent hitter over a full season is Carlos Ruiz, that says a lot about your offense.

Does anyone really think Chase Utley is going to return to his All-Star caliber form?  Utley played in 103 games in 2011 and hit .259 with 11 HR and 44 RBI.  Think about that.  Batting in the middle of that lineup and playing in that bandbox of a ballpark, Utley managed only 44 RBI in 454 plate appearances.  To put that into perspective, Daniel Murphy drove in five more runs (49) than Utley did in 31 fewer plate appearances (423).  Even Josh Thole (40 RBI) drove in more runs per plate appearance (386 PA) than Utley did in 2011.  Since 2007, when Utley hit .332, his batting average has gone down every year.  He hit .292 in 2008, .282 in 2009, .275 in 2010 and bottomed out at .259 in 2011.  The Phillies will have to deal with his declining production for the remaining two years and $30 million of his contract.

 Like the rest of his teammates, Chase Utley is literally down and out.

If Jimmy Rollins doesn't return, who will be their starting shortstop?  (It better not be Jose Reyes.)  Surely, they can't entrust the position to Wilson Valdez, he of the .294 OBP in 2011?  But maybe his defense is better than Rollins.  Uh, actually it's not.  Rollins played in 142 games and made only seven errors, while Valdez played in 99 games and committed nine errors.

Ever since Scott Rolen showed his brotherly love for Philadelphia by leaving the city in a trade in 2002, the Phillies have been searching for his replacement.  They tried David Bell from 2003-2006 and got nothing.  They employed a trio of third sackers in 2007 (Greg Dobbs, Wes Helms, Abraham Nuñez), all of whom started at least 50 games at the hot corner.  They tried Pete Happy (Pedro Feliz) for two seasons in 2008 and 2009, before finally settling on Placido Polanco in 2010.  This is the same Placido Polanco who was acquired in the Scott Rolen trade in 2002 and replaced him at third base for the remainder of that season before moving over to second base in 2003 and 2004 to accommodate David Bell.  Once Chase Utley was called up to the team, Polanco was out of a job and was traded to Detroit in 2005, where he blossomed, hitting .311 in four seasons with the Tigers.  So of course, the Phillies re-signed him prior to the 2010 season and have seen his numbers wilt.

As of right now, Hunter Pence is the only regular position player on the Phillies who isn't north of age 30.  The pitching staff of Halladay, Lee, Hamels and Oswalt might be truncated by one in 2012, as Roy Oswalt has a $16 mutual option for the 2012 season.  However, Oswalt went 9-10 for a team that won 102 games, finished the year with his second-highest ERA over a full season in his 11-year career, and spent almost two months on the disabled list.  If the Phillies think that's worth $16 million, who am I to stop them?

Vance Worley might be able to replace Oswalt in the rotation, but is he for real?  In parts of two seasons with the Phillies, Worley is 12-4 with a 2.86 ERA in 23 starts.  But this great start wasn't something that could have been predicted after looking at his numbers in the minor leagues.  Worley started 76 games over parts of four seasons in the minors.  In those starts, he was barely above .500, going 25-23.  His ERA was unimpressive (3.80) and his WHIP (1.25) wasn't exactly among the league leaders.  He also wasn't a strikeout pitcher in the minors, averaging 6.9 strikeouts per nine innings.  Then he comes to the major leagues, where hitters aren't familiar with him and he lowers his ERA by a full run, while upping his strikeout rate to 8.1 K/9 IP.  At least Cole Hamels' major league success followed an impressive minor league career, one in which he went 14-4 with a 1.43 ERA, 0.95 WHIP and registered 12.4 strikeouts per nine innings.

You didn't think I'd mention Cole Hamels and not show his photo, did you?

There are too many question marks surrounding the Phillies in 2012.  Their position players are getting older and piling up more injuries.  Their main source for power might miss the entire 2012 season, a season in which his new five-year, $125 million contract kicks in.  Their left side of the infield might consist of Placido Polanco and Wilson Valdez, two players in their mid-30s, who combined for six home runs and 80 RBI in 2011.  If John Mayberry (15 HR, 49 RBI in 104 games) becomes the Phillies' main power source in 2012, their lineup won't look very scary at all.

Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee might continue to be All-Star-caliber pitchers for years to come.  Or maybe they'll both realize that they're entering their mid-30s and will suffer the same setbacks the other thirty-somethings on the Phillies are.  The Phillies are in more trouble than people think.  Their seasons are ending earlier year after year (World Series losers in 2009, NLCS losers in 2010, NLDS losers in 2011), and that may be a sign of things to come.

For a team like the Mets, the gap between them and the Phillies might be as wide as it's going to get.  The Mets might not have to shorten that gap on their own.  The Phillies might be helping them do it with their multiple albatross contracts and their inevitable meeting with Father Time.  And it all began last night, when Ryan Howard's Achilles decided to go kaplooey.  Because of it, the Phillies' dominance in the National League might soon be going kaplooey as well.

The Rare Recap: Mets Pound Cole Hamels Into Submission

If you're a regular reader of Studious Metsimus (I'm talking to all 4½ of you), you know that we rarely do recaps here. However, after today's 11-2 blowout of the Phillies, it would be hard not to do a recap, basically because there's something I have to get off my chest. It's something that's been on my mind ever since I listened to WFAN on a cold December afternoon in 2008, when Cole Hamels called the Mets "choke artists".

Come closer to the screen so you can get a clear view of what I have to say. A little closer. Just a little more. Okay, here goes.

THE METS OWN COLE HAMELS!!

Even Cole Hamels' identical twin brother (see photo above) knows how well the Mets do against his sibling.

In a nationally televised FOX game, the entire country got to see the Jonathon Niese (who pitched seven strong innings) and the Mets pound Hamels, knocking the All-Star pitcher out of the game with one out in the fifth inning. Hamels tied his career-high by allowing seven runs (all earned) on eight hits. He also walked four batters while striking out three.

It was the first time Hamels allowed more than four earned runs in a game since April 5, when (you guessed it) the Mets scored six runs against him in 2.2 innings.

Prior to the game, Hamels was 11-4 with a 2.32 ERA and a National League-leading 0.93 WHIP. Notice my use of the word "was" in the last sentence. So how did the Mets do it against Cole Hamels today? They did it like so...

Scott Hairston doubled. Daniel Murphy singled. Jon Niese walked. Justin Turner singled. Scott Hairston doubled (again). Jason Bay walked. Nick Evans walked. Ruben Tejada singled. Angel Pagan hit a sacrifice fly. (Hey, Hamels finally got someone out!) Justin Turner walked. Daniel Murphy hit a 395-foot homer. Jason Bay singled. Nick Evans tripled.

After allowing the Mets' Murderers Row to reach base against him 12 times, Charlie Manuel finally took Hamels out of the game, where he left to a chorus of boos (or were those Phillies fans saying RAUUUUUUUUL for Raul Ibañez? I couldn't tell because I don't speak "stupid").

The change in pitchers made no difference to the Mets, as they scored four runs on seven hits off relievers David Herndon and Danys Baez, with the big blow coming off the bat of Scott Hairston. The rightfielder, who was only in the game because Carlos Beltran had a one thousand degree fever, (and that's in Celsius!) launched a three-run bomb into the left field landing, a place usually reserved for home runs by opposing teams. The homer gave Hairston three extra-base hits on the day and a season-high five RBIs.

Raise your hands, raise your hands if you're sure! Scott Hairston was certainly sure, hitting a titanic three-run blast that "put it in the books" for the Mets. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

So now you know how the Mets crushed the Phillies. Now you get to sit through the juicy parts, where I give you Cole Hamels' numbers against teams that don't have "Mets" on their jerseys, versus what he does against the boys in blue and orange.

• Career W-L record vs. the Mets: 3-10
• Career W-L record vs. everyone else: 68-40

• Career ERA vs. the Mets: 4.69
• Career ERA vs. everyone else: 3.31

• Career WHIP vs. the Mets: 1.59
• Career WHIP vs. everyone else: 1.11

• This year vs. the Mets: 1-2, 9.64 ERA, 2.00 WHIP
• This year vs. everyone else: 10-3, 1.91 ERA, 0.87 WHIP

The Mets hit Cole Hamels well just about every time they face him. Whether it's a lineup consisting of Ike Davis, David Wright, Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran, or a batting order that features none of them, the Mets usually find a way to make Cole Hamels eat his words.

Three years ago, Cole Hamels called the Mets choke artists. Now we know why he said it. After all, it takes one to know one.

From Angel Pagan's Mouth To God's Ears

Angel Pagan might have been heaven sent over the past two seasons, but now he seems to have his head up in the clouds. According to today's Daily News, Anthony McCarron reports that the outfielder still believes the Mets can compete with the Phillies for the NL East division title, despite the fact that the Mets have done very little to upgrade the team during the offseason, while the Phillies now have the Four Horsemen in their rotation with the December acquisition of Cliff Lee. Pagan goes on to say the following:

"If we have health, we can give them a fight. Everyone is counting on Philadelphia, but they have to do it. I got my money on my team, bro. I love challenges and that's why I'm looking forward to it. I believe in surprises."

We all know Angel Pagan is not going to say that the Mets' goal for the 2011 season is to hold off the Washington Nationals for fourth place, especially now that Jayson Werth is there because he wants to win. But to say that the Mets can be part of the same stratosphere that the Phillies currently inhabit, although commendable for its optimistic perspective, is a little bit of a stretch.

Has Angel Pagan become aware of a top secret radical realignment plan by Bud Selig that would put the Mets in the NFC West for the 2011 season? If so, will Carlos Beltran be assessed a 15-yard penalty the next time he tries to take out Chase Utley at second base with a hard slide? Does R.A. Dickey have to trade in his Thesaurus for shoulder pads? Will Ruben Tejada be declared ineligible because he isn't three years removed from his high school days?

I'm sure there's a player on the Pirates who believes his team is going to win the NL Central, when the more realistic goal should be to just finish at .500. That's something the Bucs haven't done since 1992, when Barry Bonds* was a skinny MVP candidate who was feared on the bases and Bobby Bonilla still wasn't collecting his Millionaire For Life winnings from the Mets.

For now, getting over .500 would be a good start for the Mets. If they go from 79-83 to 83-79, that would be a good stepping stone. The 2005 Mets improved to 83-79 after suffering through three consecutive losing seasons. The year after their rise above .500, they went to the postseason. The 2011 Mets can plant the seeds that will begin to bloom in 2012. Angel Pagan shouldn't expect the moon this year. But he can be a part of the team that gets blasted off in 2011, with the potential to land in the playoffs in the coming years.

It's one thing to expect great things for your team, but it's another thing to say that the Mets are ready to compete with the team that finished with the best record in the National League in 2010, a team whose victory total has improved every year since 2006. The Phillies have their own version of the Fantastic Four (with Cole Hamels playing the role of the Invisible Woman), while the Mets have their Fantastic One (Johan Santana) out for a big chunk of the season.

Angel Pagan should just concentrate on being the best player he can be, giving 100% on the field, and not making 100% unreasonable predictions off the field. With Sandy Alderson having a definite plan on how to improve the team without doling out contracts that come back to bite him in the Bor-a$$, the competitive team Pagan wants will be there eventually. Just don't expect it to be an overnight success.

Ho-LEE $#!% !!

Wasn't Cliff Lee upset after the 2009 season when the Phillies traded him to the Seattle Mariners in order to make room for Roy Halladay's contract extension? Apparently, he wasn't upset enough.

The mystery team vying for Cliff Lee's services was the Philadelphia Phillies and there is no longer any mystery surrounding Cliff Lee's decision as to where he'll be pitching in 2011, as the southpaw spurned the Yankees and Rangers to sign a five-year, $120 million with the Mets' rivals in Philadelphia.

According to a tweet by Ken Rosenthal, the deal can be worth as much as $135 million for six years if the option is vested. Jon Heyman tweets that the sixth-year option will kick in if Lee pitches 200 innings in 2015 (the year he turns 37) or if he pitches a combined 400 innings between 2014 and 2015.

The $24 million average annual value for the five years of Lee's deal gives Lee the highest AAV of any pitcher in baseball, surpassing the $23 million average annual value of CC Sabathia's seven-year contract with the Yankees. Not bad for a pitcher who is a combined 26-22 since his Cy Young Award-winning season in 2008.

Let's face it. If you take out Cliff Lee's two best seasons in the major leagues (18-5 in 2005 and 22-3 in 2008), Lee's career won-loss record is 62-53. To put that into perspective, in six years as a member of the New York Mets, the great Steve Trachsel went 66-59.

Cliff Lee has only had one season with an ERA under 3.00 (2.54 in 2008). He has never struck out 200 batters in a season. He has also given up more hits than innings pitched over his entire career (1419 hits allowed over 1409 innings), including the 2009 season, when he gave up more hits (245) than any pitcher in the major leagues.

Of course, none of this matters to the Philadelphia Phillies, who consider that to be good enough to warrant a $24 million per year salary that will take him through age 37 and possibly age 38 if the sixth year option vests.

Despite the obvious overpayment for a pitcher with Cliff Lee's credentials, the Phillies can boast that they have perhaps the best starting four in the major leagues now that Lee has joined his brother Roy (Halladay) and his other brother Roy (Oswalt), along with the longest-tenured Phillie of the group, Cole Hamels.

With Johan Santana's status uncertain, the Mets will probably trot out Mike Pelfrey to the mound on Opening Day. Big Pelf would probably be the Phillies' fifth starter in 2011. The gap between the Phillies' starting staff and the Mets' rotation is wider than the geographical one between the two cities.

The Phillies now have Cliff Lee while the Mets still have Ollie P. The 2011 season might be over before the first "O say, can you see".

Joey's Soapbox: Why I Hate Charlie Manuel More Than You Do

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel lost about 500 pounds, or half his weight, during the offseason. That weight loss will serve him well, as he'll need to be light on his feet to get away from me when I go after him for saying what he said two nights ago.

Hello, everyone. I'm Joey Beartran and this is my Soapbox.

As I was taking a cake break yesterday, I opened up the New York Post to read about the Mets' three-game sweep of the Phillies. It was the first time since the Miracle year of 1969 that the Mets had held an opponent scoreless for an entire three-game series.

After my fifth slice of cake, I came across an article by Fred Kerber that featured this quote by Charlie Manuel:

"Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you."

Who's this person eating bears? Does PETA know about this? I was shocked that a major league manager not named Ozzie Guillen could say something so insensitive. I can't speak for all bears, but I know I contribute to his salary when I purchase tickets to games and when I buy chicken nachos.

Shame on Charlie Manuel for suggesting that on occasion, my fellow furry friends should be consumed by him or his cronies. As for the part where he said that sometimes the bear eats you, let's just say I would never eat Charlie Manuel. I'm not a big fan of indigestion.

If Charlie Manuel is having flashbacks to his heavier days, perhaps he should satisfy his hunger by opening his mouth and sticking his foot in it.

Speaking of sticking a foot in one's mouth, the master of said practice, Colbert Hamels, was caught doing it again in the same New York Post article. Towards the end of the article, Hamels talks about the Phillies recent slump by saying:

"It happens every year for us, almost around the same time...I have a job to do. I can't worry about the offense."

Really, Colbert? So this happens to you every year around the same time. Is that your excuse for the Phillies' Phutility at Citi Field this week? Let's look at the Phillies' records for the month of May since Hamels joined the team in 2006, shall we?

2010: 15-10, .600 win pct. (currently 27-20, .574 win pct.)
2009: 17-11, .607 win pct. (finished season 93-69, .574 win pct.)
2008: 17-12, .586 win pct. (finished season 92-70, .568 win pct.)
2007: 15-13, .536 win pct. (finished season 89-73, .549 win pct.)
2006: 17-11, .607 win pct. (finished season 85-77, .525 win pct.)

The Phillies have had winning records every May that Hamels has been on the team. In fact, in four of those five seasons, the team had a better winning percentage in May than they had over the entire season, meaning that May has generally been one of the best months for the Phillies over the past five seasons.

Colbert Hamels is also the same guy who said that he couldn't wait for the season to end after losing Game 3 of last year's World Series. So saying things that make absolutely no sense seems par for the course for him.

Okay, I've said everything I have to say about those blasted Phillies. To summarize, Charlie Manuel might have lost weight, but he still has a big mouth. And Colbert Hamels still doesn't have a clue and looks like a jackass every time he opens his mouth.

I'm Joey Beartran and I'm getting off my soapbox. I can't stay on it all night, you know. After all, it's cake o'clock.

Cole Hamels: All Mouth, No Heart

Cole Hamels has opened his mouth and yet again, something embarrassing came out of it. After his Game 3 loss to the Yankees on Saturday night, a game in which he was blasted for five runs in 4 1/3 innings of work, the Phillies' potential Game 7 starter had these words of wisdom to share with the reporters present in the Phillies' clubhouse:

"I can't wait for it to end. It's been mentally draining. It's one of those things where you can't wait for a fresh start."

I wonder what teammate Pedro Martinez had to say about this. He signed with the Phillies to win a championship. Now one of his fellow starters can't wait for it to end, almost not caring if he wins or loses the World Series.

Did Randy Johnson care in 2001? You bet he did! He pitched seven innings for the Diamondbacks in Game 6 of the 2001 World Series against the Yankees. Then he cared so much for his team that he came out of the bullpen THE FOLLOWING NIGHT in Game 7 and got the victory in relief.

Imagine if the Phillies go to a Game 7 against the Yankees. Could you imagine going out to the mound after making a comment like Cole Hamels did? Philly fans boo everything in sight. Hamels is lucky his potential Game 7 start isn't at Citizen's Bank Park.

Then again, the fans are probably expecting Hamels to make comments like that. After all, he's the one who admitted on live radio that the Mets were choke artists. The only difference with Hamels' radio comments were that he backed them up with a ring and a World Series MVP Award. What does he have to back Game 3's post-game comments with? How about a 1-2 record and a 7.58 ERA.

As of today, the Phillies are 9-5 in the 2009 postseason. Hamels is their only pitcher with two losses this postseason. If the Phillies do force a Game 7 and Hamels loses that game, will Phillies' fans remember his 2008 World Series MVP Trophy or his 2009 failures and sound bites?

A player with heart puts his own needs aside and does whatever it takes to help his team. A player with a mouth causes animosity and distractions in the clubhouse. That being said, a player with a brain would know which category is better for his team. Good luck if you have to pitch in a Game 7, Mr. Hamels. Hope you can remember which body part to use at the right time.

Whatever Happened To The Mets?

The last time I checked, this site was called Studious Metsimus, wasn't it? So where has all the talk about the Mets gone? It appears that all we've been talking about recently has been Phillies this and the Yankees that, with a little more focus on the Phillies.

Is it possible that Studious Metsimus is becoming what we were criticizing last year? Read on to see what I mean.

In 2008, the Phillies won their second straight division title and followed it up with a World Series victory over the Rays. During their playoff run, Shane Victorino was made fun of by his teammates after hitting a grand slam off then-Brewers pitcher CC Sabathia and then pointing skyward. The following day above his locker, the Cryin' Hawaiian found "J. Reyes" written over his name, a nod to Reyes' skyward gesture after he hits a home run.

Mets fans everywhere were furious at the Phillies' actions because Reyes had never been the only player to point to the Heavens after hitting a home run. It is common for a player to make the same gesture when he wants to give thanks to God or say hello to a loved one who passed away. However, since it was directed toward Reyes, it showed that the Mets were still on the Phillies' minds. Adding fuel to the fire was the comment made by Cole Hamels after being questioned on why he was singling out Jose Reyes.

"I think he's a great player...(but) run around like you've done it before, don't act like it's the best thing on the planet."

(Please note: The photo to the left is NOT a picture of Cole Hamels. Studious Metsimus respects him and would never stoop to his level just to insult him. It's actually a photo of his identical twin brother.)

Even after winning the World Series, the Phillies still had the Mets on their minds. During their championship parade and celebration in Philadelphia, shortstop Jimmy Rollins mentioned Johan Santana and the Mets, eliciting boos from the Philly Phaithful. However, Rollins made sure not to make it a Johan love-fest, when he followed up his comment with the following nugget.

"We can talk about the New York Mets. They brought in that great pitcher, Johan Santana, but they forgot that it takes more than one player to bring home a championship."

Do you see what I mean about Studious Metsimus becoming what we were criticizing last season? Now it seems as if we can't get the Phillies off OUR minds. So let's talk about the Mets for a little while to get this nasty Phillie aftertaste out of our mouths.

Spinderella, break it down.

"Let's talk about Mets, baby.
Let's talk about you and me.
Let's talk about David, Jose, Carlos, Johan and Frenchy.
Let's talk about Mets.
Let's talk about Mets!
Let's talk about Mets.
Let's talk about Mets!"

Thanks for the intro, Spin! That wasn't so hard now, was it? Let's see what the Mets have been up to since we last saw them at Citi Field almost a month ago.

Jose Reyes was spotted at a... No, wait. David Wright donated his time and money to a needy... Uh, no, that wasn't him. Fernando Tatis built another church with his bare hands in his native Dominican Republic. Hold on. Was that really him?

Grrr! It isn't easy coming up with news on the Mets when they're not in the news to begin with. Hopefully, when the World Series is over, the Mets will become more newsworthy. The Winter Meetings are still over a month away, so hopefully there will be some rumblings in Mets-ville to report on.

It's either that or we'll have to make up a story about Steve Phillips going out on a blind date with someone he was told liked to remove articles of clothing in the heat of the moment. Then we'll make that person be notorious shirt-remover Tony Bernazard. Ooooh, Studious Metsimus would be all over that story!

In the meantime, I guess we'll just have to cover the events taking place on the field right now. Perhaps Cole Hamels will give us something interesting to write about after his Game 3 outing against the Yankees on Halloween night. Don't give us that smirk, Colbert. We know you're up to something. You can't always blame it on your identical twin brother!

Why We Can't Have A Yankees-Phillies World Series

The Yankees finished with the best record in baseball, swept the red-hot Twins in the ALDS and are now playing the Angels in the American League Championship Series. The Phillies won their third straight division title, were clutch in Colorado and are now trying to repeat as National League Champions. Both teams are currently three wins away from a World Series showdown.

I am a Mets fan. I hate the Yankees. I hate the Phillies. I hate the possibility of a Yankees-Phillies World Series, although I know it might very well happen. However, if the world is to continue spinning on its axis, we CANNOT have a Yankees-Phillies Fall Classic (or Fall Crassic, if you will). I'm Joey and here is why this matchup could be a potential disaster.


As Mets fans, how could we root for either team? Yay, Derek Jeter just struck out with the bases loaded! Oh wait, it was Cole Hamels who struck him out. Woohoo, Utley just let a ball go through his legs! Here comes A-Rod to score the go-ahead run. Ugh! See what I mean?

This potential World Series matchup would be like 1999 all over again for Mets fans. In 1999, Kenny Rogers roasted the Mets and their fans by walking every member of the Atlanta Braves in the bottom of the 11th.

Random thought: Perhaps this is where Oliver Perez learned his mantra of "walks are part of the game". If he was going to learn from a master, he should have learned from Pai Mei and not from the Gambler.










Because of Kenny's donations to the Atlanta Frequent Walker Club, we were subjected to a Yankees-Braves World Series. I was not alive then, but my colleague was. He told me that he did not watch a single pitch of that World Series because he couldn't root for the Bronx Bummers or the team that prevented the Mets from playing on.

Although the same teams faced each other in the 1996 World Series, the Braves did not have the same rivalry with the Mets in '96 as they did in '99 (the Mets were 71-91 in 1996). Therefore, that World Series wasn't as unwatchable as the '99 Series was.

If Studious Metsimus is going to cover the 2009 World Series, we would probably need to watch at least one pitch of it. I can be sure that if the Yankees play the Phillies, we'll be watching "Ghost Hunters" or the series premiere of "V" instead.

In addition to it being an unwatchable World Series for Mets fans, please recall that the Yankees and Phillies have played each other in the World Series once before. That was in 1950, when the Yankees swept the so-called "Whiz Kids", which was the stupid name the Phillies were playfully known as that season. What happened after that World Series? The USA entered the Korean War and the Yankees went on to win the next three World Series.

We do not need a repeat of that! As the movie "Team America: World Police" so succinctly stated, don't f**k with Kim Jong-il! America does not need more conflict overseas and Mets fans certainly don't need to see Alex Rodriguez finally win a ring or three, thereby becoming a "True Yankee".

Let's hope the Angels and Dodgers can pull out victories in their respective series to prevent our hated rivals from winning a pennant and playing for a World Series Championship.

I would like to watch baseball in November and not have to worry that a particular fan base will be spending the entire winter bragging about their pennant and/or championship. Besides, I'm getting the feeling those aren't real ghosts being recorded on the infrared vision and EVP recorders on "Ghost Hunters" anyway.

Separated At Birth: Studious Metsimus Style

The 2009 baseball season will soon be coming to an end. That will leave Studious Metsimus with no on-field Mets news to talk about. What is a fledgling blogger to do?

Well, I figured since I've analyzed so many games over the 2009 season, watched endless game films and inhaled all the pop-culture a person can legally subject himself to, I'd do a "Separated At Birth" blog. I've seen enough players on the Mets and other teams to notice some similarities between them and various other personalities. Let's see what you think:

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Tim Redding and Rob Halford:















Tim Redding started off poorly, went to bullpen in early July, returned as a starter in late August and has been rolling ever since.

Rob Halford started out beautifully, left Judas Priest in 1992, returned to the band in 2003 and has been rocking ever since.

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Felix Millan and John Oates:










Felix Millan played second base on some good and bad Mets teams in the 1970s.

John Oates played second fiddle to Daryl Hall on some good and bad Hall & Oates songs in the 1980s.

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John Rocker and Gene Simmons:











John Rocker played baseball for the Atlanta Braves and is a shameless self-demoter.

Gene Simmons plays bass for the band KISS and is a shameless self-promoter.

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Shane Victorino and John Travolta:














One is among the best actors of his time and played Vinnie Barbarino.

The other one likes cheese with his "whine" and is Shane Victorino.

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Cole Hamels and A Smiling Ass:












One of these is good looking, dependable, does what's expected of him and keeps his mouth shut at the right times.

The other one is Cole Hamels.

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Well, those are the similarities I found. If any of the SMFs can come up with any other athletes on the Mets or on other teams, please leave a comment with those who were separated at birth. I'll gladly give you credit in the next episode of Separated At Birth.

Time to prepare for a little Saturday Night Fever of my own (the doppelganger of Shane Victorino will NOT be a part of the festivities) by watching the Mets game. SMFs, I wish you all a great weekend!