Joey's Small Bites: Mets Re-Sign Scott Hairston

Greetings and a happy new year to everyone!  This is Joey Beartran and I'm here to give you some small bites on what's going on with the Mets these days.

If you recall, last April I had the opportunity to take the field with a member of the Mets before the first Saturday night game of the season.  I was hoping to meet either Jose Reyes or Carlos Beltran since I was named after both of them.  But then I saw the starting lineup and feared I'd get Chin-lung Hu.

I didn't get to take the field with my namesakes or the man named after two body parts and a question.  Instead I got to meet the starting leftfielder for the night.  I wanted it to be Jason Bay so we could discuss the finer things in life, like Canadian bacon, poutine and Tim Horton's.

Unfortunately, Bay was on the disabled list to start the season so I got his replacement du jour.  That's right, my friends.  I got to meet Scott Hairston.

Scott Hairston was in awe that the world's preeminent bear blogger was taking the field with him.  Either that or he was checking out my colleague's wife.  (Photo by Sharon Chapman)

Hairston was very polite and seemed happy to see us keeping his position warm for him.  He even gave me a high five before we ran off the field to head for our seats.  Although he didn't do very well in the game (0-for-3, 2 Ks, HBP, one run scored), I still enjoyed my first meeting with him and rooted openly for him during the season.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I was overjoyed when word came out that the Mets had re-signed Hairston for the 2012 season.  At first, I was a little skeptical about the news.  After all, the Mets aren't signing anyone these days.  They're leaving that for the other teams in the NL East.

But then I checked Twitter and scanned through Jon Heyman's tweets and found confirmation of the news (because everything Heyman tweets is true, right?):

scott hairston will get $1.1M from mets in '12, give or take a few pennies
— Jon Heyman (@JonHeymanCBS) January 5, 2012

So one of the Mets' key bench players will be returning to Citi Field in 2012 at a bargain basement price of $1.1 million (or less than 10% of what they paid Oliver Perez not to pitch for the Mets in 2011).

Although Hairston only hit .235 last year, he excelled at producing extra-base hits.  Of his 31 hits, 16 went for extra bases (eight doubles, one triple, seven home runs), giving him a .470 slugging percentage.  In addition, Hairston picked up 24 RBI in 149 plate appearances.  His rate of one RBI every 6.2 plate appearances was better than Carlos Beltran (6.3 PA/RBI), David Wright (7.3 PA/RBI) and Lucas Duda (6.9 PA/RBI).  Jason Bay?  He drove in a run every 8.9 plate appearances in 2011 and will be paid approximately 15 times the amount Hairston will be earning in 2012.

Scott Hairston hit three of his seven home runs as a pinch-hitter in 2011, leading all Mets in that department, despite the fact that he didn't play after August 23 because of injury.  No other Met hit more than one pinch-hit homer in 2011.

The Mets didn't hit for much power in 2011.  For the second time in the three-year history of Citi Field, no Met hit more than 15 HR.  The team's leading home run hitter (Carlos Beltran) played the final two months of the season as a member of the San Francisco Giants.  Scott Hairston was one of the few players on the team who could actually hit the ball out of the ballpark with some regularity.  Therefore, I believe it's a good thing that he's returning to Citi Field in 2012, especially with the walls being lowered and moved in.

A healthy Scott Hairston will provide the Mets with a legitimate home run threat on the bench, as well as a utility player who can play in the infield and outfield when needed.  The Mets might not be big spenders this offseason, but at least they're keeping their inexpensive talent.

Jose Reyes is gone.  So is Carlos Beltran.  Maybe I should change my name from Joey Beartran to Scotty Bearston.  At least that way I know I'll have my namesake around in 2012.

Joey's Small Bites: We'll Be On The Field Tonight During Batting Practice!

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! This is Joey Beartran, along with my sister Iggy Beartran. We're here to share some great news with you! If you have tickets to tonight's Mets game against the Pittsburgh Pirates, please remember to arrive early, because we're going to be on the field (along with Studious Metsimus colleague and correspondent, Ed Leyro and Taryn Cooper, respectively) during batting practice.

We'll have our gloves ready, as we'll be shagging fly balls hit by all of your fav'rit Mets and all of your fav'rit no-names on the Pirates.

Are you ready for some baseball? We are!

Of course, we won't be allowed to run all over the field. We'll be near the left field corner in front of the Great Wall of Flushing. In fact, there are many rules and regulations we'll have to follow if we want to stay on the field during the entirety of batting practice.

For example, we can bring one sealed water bottle onto the field (20 oz. or less). However, we're not allowed to bring chicken nachos or any other type of food onto the field, even though the chicken nacho stand is literally a few feet away in the left field corner. Hello? We need food to give us the strength to run down fly balls on the warning track. Not only that, what else are we going to wash down our water with? Cotton candy? (Surprisingly enough, I'm not too fond of cotton candy.)

The no food policy is just one of many guidelines we'll have to follow when we're on the field. Below you will see us holding up the sheet of rules and regulations that was sent to us. If that's too small for you to read (after all, you may have the eyesight of umpire Angel Hernandez), then to the right, you can click on the photo to enlarge the sheet with the rules and guidelines.



Now I can understand the fact that we have to sign a waiver before entering the field (Rule #1). After all, if we get hit on the head by a fly ball, we might not remember our names, where we live or where Shake Shack is. But what about the rule where we can't steal dirt from the warning track (Rule #9)? Didn't the Marlins steal dirt from Shea Stadium after they defeated the Mets in the final game of the 2008 season (otherwise known as the "Shea Goodbye" game)? They didn't heed the fans' calls of "off the field" and they did harm to the Mets by defeating them in a game they needed to win to force a one-game playoff against the Milwaukee Brewers for the wild card berth. Why is it okay for the Marlins to steal dirt from the field but not acceptable for the paying customers to do the same?

What about the "no sliding or diving" rule (Rule #4) or the "no feet or bodies on the wall" rule (Rule #7)? Didn't we have to sign a waiver before entering the field? So if we get hurt while sliding or diving, that was our decision. Also, if we bang our heads or get our feet caught on the wall trying to make a play, again, it's our own fault. The Mets wouldn't be held responsible for any of our injuries because of that waiver. Then again, with all the injuries that have befallen the Mets since they moved into Citi Field, perhaps they're just expecting some of us to get hurt. Anyway, I don't need to slide or dive on the field. I already did that last year and didn't get caught. And Iggy is 100% healthy after hanging out (literally) at the 378 foot sign in right field earlier this year.



Um, about Rule #3, the "no spikes or heels" rule. Why would anyone be wearing heels or spikes to a ballgame anyway? Are there kids going to their senior prom after the game? Is Ty Cobb at the game? Probably not. So why would anyone wear either of those on their feet?

Of course, there's always a chance Gene Simmons might show up in full makeup. Perhaps that rule is specifically for him. But could you imagine the blood-spewing bassist for KISS showing up in his battle armor and wearing Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star sneakers? Then again, he could probably get away with wearing Chuck Taylor knee-high sneaker boots...



So that's all I have to get off my chest for today. We'll be at Citi Field at 4:00pm today to take the field for batting practice prior to the Mets game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. We'll be on the field near the left field corner for a few hours before first pitch. If you show up early, feel free to bring your camera to take pictures of us. Just please don't call our names or say "use two paws" as we're getting ready to catch a fly ball. We'd rather not hear the Mets' staff tell us "see, that's why we made you sign the waiver".

Have a great day watching the game, either at Citi Field or in the comfort of your own homes. We'll try to bring back a ball (and a victory) for you!

An Open Letter To Brooklyn Dodger Lover Fred Wilpon

Dear Mr. Wilpon,

I was recently at the Mets Team Store on the Field Level at Citi Field looking for some Mets T-shirts. After being pleasantly surprised to finally see R.A. Dickey and Angel Pagan number shirts for sale, my jaw dropped when I saw yet another piece of Brooklyn Dodgers merchandise.

This wasn't yet another tribute to Jackie Robinson or Ebbets Field. This was something else entirely. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you photo documentation of the latest shirt for sale at the Mets Team Store.


A Sandy Koufax Brooklyn Dodgers shirt? Really? Let's look up a few things about Mr. Koufax to share with our readers.

Sandy Koufax had a great career in the major leagues. He finished his career with a .655 winning percentage (165 wins, 87 losses), pitched four no-hitters (a record at the time), struck out 382 batters in a single season (also a record at the time), won three Cy Young Awards and was the National League MVP in 1963. He also was a member of four pennant winners and three World Series champions. As a result of his outstanding career, Koufax was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1972, his first year of eligibility.


That's a lot of accomplishments for a pitcher whose career was cut short because of arthritis. But that's not what stands out most for me on his Hall of Fame plaque. Let's focus on Sandy himself, or rather, let's focus on the cap he's wearing in the plaque. What's that on his cap? Oh, yeah...

It's a LOS ANGELES DODGERS cap!

Now why is he wearing an LA on his cap rather than a "B" for Brooklyn? That's because Koufax did very little in Brooklyn as a Dodger.

From 1955-1957, the last three seasons the Dodgers played at Ebbets Field, Sandy Koufax's record was 9-10, or the same record compiled by Jonathon Niese in 2010. He was also very wild, walking 108 batters in 204.2 innings and posted a 4.00 ERA.

Once the Dodgers packed their bags and left Brooklyn for LA, Koufax blossomed into one of the all-time greats in baseball.

So why on Earth is Citi Field selling Sandy Koufax Brooklyn Dodgers shirts when he did practically nothing as one of Dem Bums? It surely can't be because the Mets appreciate pitchers who go 9-10 while pitching in one of the outer boroughs. If that were the case, then the store would also have a full stock of Jonathon Niese T-shirts (which they don't; what's up with that?).

No, Mr. Wilpon. You know the reason as well as I do. Sandy Koufax was a childhood friend of yours. The two of you went to Lafayette High School in Brooklyn together. Sandy comes to spring training as a favor to you to talk to your pitchers.

We get it. You're BFFs. Fine.

But please. Sandy Koufax wasn't a Met. He was barely a Brooklyn Dodger. Stop trying to make it seem like he was. The Mets don't play at Ebbets Field. They don't have a "B" on their hats. Therefore, if you could, we'd like you to stop trying to shove the Brooklyn Dodgers down our throats. We know this is probably hard for you to do, so perhaps we can reach a compromise.

Do you remember which two players led the major leagues in home runs and RBI during the 1950s? Maybe the photos below will help.



The man in the photo on the left is Duke Snider, who played in Brooklyn for 11 seasons (1947-1957). The man on the right is Gil Hodges, who came up to the Brooklyn Dodgers for good in 1947 after playing in one game for the team in 1943.

Both men played the majority of their major league careers as Brooklyn Dodgers, winning six pennants and one World Series in Brooklyn. They also have one other thing in common. Let's roll out the photo album one more time to assist you.



Your eyes are not deceiving you, Mr. Wilpon. They were indeed both members of your New York Mets.

Duke Snider played one season for the Mets, making the All-Star team in 1963. Gil Hodges played parts of two seasons for the Mets (1962-63), hitting the first home run in franchise history on April 11, 1962. He also did something on a grander scale seven years later. It may or may not have involved winning a championship. I'll have to look that up.

Do you see what I'm getting at, Mr. Wilpon? Why are you selling Sandy Koufax merchandise when you can sell Duke Snider or Gil Hodges gear? They were both Brooklyn Dodgers far longer than Koufax was and contributed to more success in Brooklyn than your boyhood buddy did. Plus, they have the added appeal to Mets fans because they both donned the orange and blue at some point.

As of right now, there is nothing for Duke Snider at Citi Field and only a first base entrance named after Gil Hodges. I know I'm not the only fan who's appalled that you're trying to sell Sandy Koufax as a Brooklyn Dodger to Mets fans. In fact, my wife (you might know her as "The Coop") also has an opinion on the lovefest between you and the Brooklyn Dodgers, which she will share with you now:


Speaking of both teams for whom to pay homage, you also discredit the origins of the “orange” from the term “orange and blue” in your child-like fascination with the Brooklyn Dodgers, and that’s the New York Giants.

While the Dodgers were quick to embrace their new identity on the west coast with winning a championship in two years, the now-San Francisco Giants had to do nothing BUT embrace their New York roots. And why was that? Because prior to 2010, they had not won a championship in their 50 year old home and a lot of their rich history was based in New York. Even when the team won, they visited the old site of the Polo Grounds (where both the New York Giants and…oh some other team…oh yes, the New York Mets once upon a time played) with the Commissioner’s Trophy to pay homage to where their history originated. I don’t believe that the Dodgers visited the old site of Ebbets Field after winning a championship so quickly after switching coasts. The Giants embrace New York and the Mets need to embrace the Giants history as well.

It’s not so much the Koufax jersey or this blatant “to the victor go the spoils” attitude at Citi Field that is troublesome -- there is also no mention of New York Giants history. You’d like to be fair, then how about this? In addition to selling Brooklyn memorabilia, why not include the Giants as well in a nostalgia store? Not to mention, one of the most storied baseball players in history, Willie Mays, played for both New York and San Francisco Giants AND ended his career with the Mets. Wouldn’t it be great to not only acknowledge those teams but to also have an actual connection to the Mets? There’s no limitation to having Giants or Dodgers jerseys either in the nostalgia store – you can sell old Mets jerseys as well and even other items such as collectible yearbooks and souvenir cups.


My wife and I are just two people, Mr. Wilpon. But we're not the only ones who feel that you have overdone it with your homage to the Brooklyn Dodgers at Citi Field.

You're the owner of the New York Mets. You also love the Brooklyn Dodgers. If you absolutely must share that Dodger love with the fans who pay their way into your homage to Ebbets Field to see the Mets play, at least share it with players who have ties to both teams. Is that so hard to do, Mr. Wilpon?

Peace, love, Mets, y'all,
Ed Leyro and Taryn Cooper

Joey's Small Bites: While My Co-Blogger Gently Sleeps

Yesterday, I made my first appearance at Citi Field to "enjoy" the home opener . I invited my co-blogger and my fav'rit Studious Metsimus consultant to join me on Opening Day. After all, they could swipe me through the turnstiles with their MetroCards since I had no pockets in my hoodie to carry mine.

Unfortunately, my co-blogger decided to wear shorts and not wear his gray Mets hoodie on an overcast 40-something degree day. Now he's lying in bed with such a horrible sore throat and cough, you'd think he swallowed Keith Hernandez's mustache.

Therefore, since he's too sick to say it, I'll give you the rundown on what's happening today at Citi Field before the game. The aforementioned fav'rit Studious Metsimus consultant and I will be taking the field to meet and greet an unnamed Met before the first pitch. It will not be the first time I've taken the field at a ballgame, as I once stole second base last year.

Luis Castillo wasn't able to keep a hold on second base for the Mets. I found it quite easy to do.

In case you were wondering, I did not get injured as I slid into second base, but I did have a few pebbles up my...

As I was saying earlier, before tonight's 7:10 PM game against the Washington Nationals, I will be taking the field with Taryn Cooper. You know her from Kiner's Korner (the website, not the show that former Cardinals' pitcher Ricky Horton wanted to get on so badly that he would practice in front of his mirror as a youth) and Mets Merized Online.

If you're at the game, please look out for us wreaking havoc on the infield dirt or outfield grass. We won't know which player we'll be meeting or which position we'll be occupying. But we do know that it will be lots of fun and a once in a lifetime experience that we hope happens again.

(Note: For those of you wondering about the so-called "Joey Jinx", where I take a photo with a Mets player and that player subsequently gets injured and/or traded, we are taking all precautions so that that doesn't happen tonight. But the players are signing waivers just in case...)

Also, to my co-blogger, please feel better soon. As you know, I couldn't carry my wallet in my hoodie either, so it'll be up to you to carry the money for food. I hope you have my chicken nachos ready for me for when I come back to my seat. After all, if the Mets lose again today, I might need to drown my sorrows in shredded chicken and chips.

Nachos Grande, $7.75. Chicken Nachos, $9.25. The experience of eating them at Citi Field, priceless.

When The SUMMER Is Gone, MY FAMILY Will Remain

See the glowing Mets fan to the left? That's no David Wright fangirl. That's the Coop, writer extraordinaire. For the past three years, she has shared her thoughts on the Mets and everything associated with the team on My Summer Family, one of the most unique and respected Mets sites around.

However, it has come to our attention that the Coop has retired My Summer Family, as announced in her most recent work, "Roll Call 2010: A Very Special Post".

The Studious Metsimus staff could only think of one word that could describe our feelings accurately regarding this surprise retirement, and that word is...

Sigh...

My Summer Family was always one of the first places we would turn to for thought-provoking, insightful and entertaining pieces on the Mets. Where else could we be told to "just forfeit" to avoid suffering from "Post-Traumatic Mets Disorder"?

The Coop was never afraid to tell it like it is, even if it involved using language that only soon-to-be Hall of Famer Bert Blyleven would love.

There has been an overwhelming display of love and support for the Coop from the blogging community. From Joe D at Mets Merized Online to Greg Prince at Faith and Fear in Flushing, there has been no shortage of respectful goodbyes for the writer known to the Studious Metsimus staff as "The Better Half".

Wait. The Better Half? What, you didn't know? That's right. The Coop and I have taken the plunge and tied the knot in an Amazin' Met-rimony.

For those of you who don't understand my not-so-cryptic previous paragraph, I'll come right out and say it. WE'RE MARRIED, Y'ALL!!

Although our wedding day was on Cinco De Mayo (which celebrates the Mexican Army's victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862), there was one particular Mexican-born pitcher who was not invited to the day's festivities. Sorry, Ollie.

So the My Summer Family era has come to an end. But don't worry. Although you won't see the My Summer Family blog anymore, the Coop will find a way to make her presence felt. Whether it be applying for the still-vacant Mets' GM position (COOP FOR GM!!) or trying to arrange the latest Citi Field Sit Out, her unique perspective will always be at the forefront of any discussion on the state of the Mets. If you build it, Coop will come.

Ted Williams retired after hitting a home run in his final turn at bat. So did Todd Zeile. There's now a threesome in that department (Señor Solly and Bert Blyleven would certainly approve of that statement), as My Summer Family is going out on top.

Retirement is never easy. Just ask Mike Schmidt. (see video below)

Congratulations to an excellent writer, a passionate Mets fan and the most incredible and loving wife in the world. I'll try my best to continue what you began at My Summer Family here at Studious Metsimus, but I know I'll never compare to you.

You have been my inspiration, my muse and my reason to continue writing about anything that pops into my head regarding the Mets. The sun has set on My Summer Family, but it will never set on us. I love you and wish you the best wherever that takes you. Just promise to take me along for the ride.

It's The End of Their World As They Know It (And We Feel Fine)

We interrupt your regularly scheduled day of blog reading to give you breaking news that's already been broken. Omar Minaya has been relieved of his GM duties and Jerry Manuel's option for the 2011 season was not picked up.

Of course, this wasn't even breaking news before it became official. It was a foregone conclusion that the man famous for inserting the words "that being said" into every other sentence and the man known as Dead Manuel Walking were not going to retain their positions after the completion of the 2010 season.

The team had underachieved since the end of the 2006 season. The players were performing below expectations and if there was camaraderie between the players, it wasn't as evident as it should be with winning teams.

It is the general manager's job to put the team together and the manager's job to get them to perform between the white lines.

Omar did his best to put Los Mets together. That being said, that also included offering contracts that were far too long to the ostracized Oliver "El Perez-idente" Perez and Luis "Squeam Queen" Castillo. Other players that were signed for more years than they should have been were Orlando "The Dookie" Hernandez, Pedro "I Left My Fastball In Beantown" Martinez and Carlos Beltran (sorry, we like Don Carlos, so we won't give him a demeaning nickname). He also traded for fan-favorite, but now increasingly fragile Johan Santana.

Jerry Manuel was forced to manage an oft-injured group of ragtag players, a job that most managers would have difficulty doing, although a fellow Manuel (Charlie) had no problem doing that when his star players were dropping faster than Citi Field's paid attendance figures.

Part of Charlie Manuel's success with being able to survive his club's injuries was that his GM, Ruben Amaro Jr., was able to provide him with the right players to fill in the holes left by the disabled players.

When Rip Van Winkle (Jamie Moyer) went down with an injury, Amaro swung a deal with the Astros for Roy Oswalt. All four infielders for the Phillies (Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Placido Polanco) were also hurt at some point of the season. Amaro made sure each player had better than adequate replacements in Ross Gload, Ben Francisco and Wilson Valdez. Those three players combined to hit .266 (170-for-640), which was higher than the team's collective batting average (.260). In those 640 at-bats, which are about the same amount an everyday player would collect over a full season, the trio collected 37 doubles, three triples, 16 HR and 85 RBI, while scoring 77 runs and going a perfect 16-for-16 in stolen bases. They also excelled defensively, combining to make a total of four errors in 569 total chances.

While the Phillies didn't miss a beat when one of their star players got hurt, what did Omar Minaya give us? Either not yet ready for prime time players (Ruben Tejada, Jesus Feliciano, Lucas Duda) or the curious case of Joaquin Arias, who, like Benjamin Button, seemed to age backwards as seen by the photos below.



A general manager is the head talent evaluator. His job is to put together the best team possible so that his manager can put the best possible lineup on the field. Unfortunately for Jerry Manuel, the best team possible was never THE BEST TEAM. There were 25 guys, or 23½ as suggested by The Better Half in her recent post for Mets Merized Online, but these guys were never a team. Ruben Amaro has put together a team of guys in Philadelphia, not guys who were part of a team, like Omar Minaya put together in New York.

The new general manager has to realize that teams win games. He has to give the manager not just the best individual players, but the guys who stand the best chance to become a cohesive unit that can all contribute to winning ballgames. Twenty-five individuals don't lead teams to championships, but one team of players can do that.

Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel had early success with the Mets because they had a team of guys. Over the past few years, that team dissolved into a group of guys whose only common trait was the shirts on their backs. The formula is simple: Have team, will win. If the new general manager can't get the new manager a team of guys to work with, then they stand a good chance of being shown the same door that Omar and Jerry were last seen walking through.

We Believe In NOT Coming Back!

By now, some of you may have heard about the movement started by various bloggers, including the one and only Coop and the equally talented Joe Spector. Both bloggers are encouraging people to either not attend games at Citi Field or to boycott the ballpark.

Studious Metsimus would like to endorse both campaigns. The Mets led us to believe in comebacks, yet they've allowed 12 games to get away from them in walk-off fashion. The Mets decided to keep Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo around because apparently, the Mets also believe in leading the league in boos.

In addition, the Mets became road worriers instead of road warriors, continuing their woeful play away from Citi Field that they began last year, when they went 29-52 on the road. This year, the Mets are 26-40 away from home.

Last year, injuries were the excuse. So what's the excuse this year? What can they say to explain the fact that they have a 14-18 record against the six teams with losing records in the National League?

The pitching has been better than expected, with the team having pitched 18 shutouts over their first 124 games, which is better than a shutout every seven games. But when they don't shut out the opposition, the Mets are 44-62. Why is their lumber seemingly in a slumber? Has Jason Bay's concussion spread to the team's wood?

So tomorrow is the day of the Great Citi Field Sit Out. If you have tickets to the game, please don't go. You can watch the game on TV if you wish. We all know you've been waiting all season for the matchup between Pat Misch and Alex Sanabia.

But wouldn't it be great if you're watching the game on TV, seeing all those empty green seats and you hear Gary Cohen wonder aloud where everyone is? You would know exactly why. It's because the fans are fed up with the direction this team has taken.

The front office wants us to think that the Mets believe in comebacks. On the contrary. With what they've given us on the field, we believe in the exact opposite. The Studious Metsimus staff, The Coop, Joe Spector and other bloggers have spoken and the message is clear.

WE BELIEVE IN NOT COMING BACK!

Mr. Beartran Goes To Washington

Greetings, everyone! It's your fav'rit Studious Metsimus blogger/roving reporter/culinary expert Joey Beartran. Today I'm going to give you a recap of our trip to Washington, DC, where we went to see the Mets play the Nationals and posed security threats by getting way too close to the White House when the Secret Service wasn't looking (see photo, left).

We headed for Washington at an ungodly hour, leaving the house just after sunrise (for a Saturday, that IS an ungodly hour). Of course, since the game was a nationally televised FOX Game of The Week because of the start by Nats' phenom Stephen Strasburg, we had plenty of time to kill. And what better way to kill time than by stopping at Cracker Barrel?

It took quite some time to decide what I wanted for breakfast, (after all, I am the resident culinary expert) but once I decided, I gave a quick point to the menu and got ready for my delicious Cracker Barrel breakfast.



Of course, the Mid-Atlantic hospitality was quickly erased by the Mid-Atlantic "duh" factor. I asked for pancakes and such, but only got the "and such". Also, the orange juice was 95% pulp. When we were asked if we wanted our orange juice with pulp, we said no. Then our waitress said "well, that's all we have".

I was going to argue with her but I was afraid she'd say "Kiss My Grits" and I wasn't going to mess with Flo. (On a positive note, the unkissed grits were actually pretty good.)



I wanted to go someplace to get a better beverage since I was left unfulfilled at Cracker Barrel. My co-blogger just wanted to get to Washington. He was going to suggest we play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to decide, but I wasn't going to fall for it. After all, I have no fingers, so I could never throw down scissors with my paw. Instead, we decided it like men have for centuries.

We played checkers.

Of course, I won the match with one of my patented moves that he never saw coming. (I told him, "Look over there! It's Keith Hernandez!", at which time he twirled around in his rocking chair and I made a triple jump that I'm not sure was legal, but as I said before...he never saw it coming.)

So from Cracker Barrel, we went to a Dunkin' Donuts in Havre De Grace, MD (birthplace of Orioles' legend and baseball Hall-of-Famer Cal Ripken, Jr.) where I indulged in a made-to-order Vanilla Bean Coolatta. (no pulp here!) Although it was hot out, I'm glad I wore my hoodie. It prevented me from getting brain freeze!

So we made it to Washington about two hours before game time. We drove by the ballpark and decided to keep going to see the historical part of our nation's capital, since we knew we wouldn't find anything historic at Nationals Park.

We saw the White House, the Washington Momument, the Eisenhower Executive Office Building and the World War II Memorial (where I sat in front of the memorial to Puerto Rico, the home of Alex Cora, Angel Pagan, Carlos Beltran and Los Hermanos Feliciano - Pedro and Jesus, who are not really hermanos. Not sure if they're brothers either.)




So now it was time for the main event; the Mets vs. the Nationals! If you want a recap of the game, here's the condensed version. We lost. There, now it's back to what you're really here for: MORE STORY AND PICTURES!!

Teddy Roosevelt has never won a Presidents Race at Nationals Park. Clearly, it's taken a toll on him psychologically, as seen by what he did to me when I asked to be photographed with him.


The stadium was okay aesthetically, but our seats were somewhere south of Guam (and north of the middle deck of Nationals Park), so we decided to walk around the ballpark to see what Washingtonian cuisine was like.

I have to say I was impressed with the food selections (see photos below). There were supersized deli sandwiches, chicken and waffle sandwiches, and chili nachos (which I wanted to wash down with a tall lime smoothie or two, but I wasn't allowed because apparently, we bought the adult version of the lime smoothie - Thanks for nothing, co-blogger!)



Upon completion of the game, it was time to go home after a long day of baseball, sightseeing, food sampling and that stupid Francisco Rodriguez walking light-hitting Cristian Guzman (who recently graduated from the Luis Castillo School of Power Hitting) on four pitches, then giving up a single to Met-killer Willie Harris, who was hitting .150 at the time. If that wasn't enough, he then walked another batter to load the bases, gave up a near-grand slam to Adam Dunn (which came back into the ballpark for a game-tying double), intentionally walked the next batter to load up the bases, then gave up the 10th walk-off hit up by a Mets pitcher this year when AARP member Ivan Rodriguez stroked a single to right.

But I'm not here to recap the game for you. I already told you clearly and concisely that they lost five paragraphs ago. I'm not bitter about it. But I did want to get out of Dodge, so we drove back home and relaxed overnight in Party Town USA, better known as Wilmington, Delaware.

Overall, the experience was pretty good. It would have been better had the Mets won and had Francisco Rodriguez gotten into a taxi to get Venezuelan food the night before. However, the trip was well worth it.

I got to meet Flo for the first time, even though she gave me very little orange juice to go with my pulp. I sampled an authentic Maryland Vanilla Bean Coolatta. I had my first chicken and waffle sandwich, even though I was made fun of for not putting syrup on it and for eating it with a fork. And best of all, I beat my colleague in checkers! What could be better than that?

Thanks to my colleague and the blogger formerly known as Aunt Coop for helping Mr. Beartran go to Washington. The Mets couldn't win one for the Beartran, but they did provide the backdrop for a fun time.

Where will my next road trip be? You'll find out before the end of the month. Until then (with apologies to Casey Kasem), remember to keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the nachos (but not mine).

...And Now A Word From Our Joey

Greetings, Mets fans! It's your roving Studious Metsimus correspondent, Joey Beartran getting a moment on the laptop. I have a few things to say, so BEAR with me as I get a few things off my hoodie.

Before tonight's victory against the Braves, the Mets had dropped five consecutive games. The rest of the NL East was putting New York in its rearview mirror, just like I was doing in the photo above.

No starter had won a game in May and Little Jeffy Wilpon thought it necessary to have tea and crumpets with Goofus and Gallant. (Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel. I'll let you figure out which one is which.)

Then April's best pitcher took the hill in Atlanta and played stopper for the night. The Mets' Big Kahuna used his Big Cojones to pitch the Mets to a 3-2 victory over the Braves. The losing streak was finally over and the Mets were out of last place. Sounds like everything's peachy in Georgia, right? Not so fast!

The Mets still haven't had much contributions from their bottom three guys in the rotation. After Big Pelf and 'Han the Man, every other start this season has been made by Mr. Niese, Mr. Maine and El Perez-idente. Those three starters have combined for a grand total of TWO WINS this year!

Now Jonathon Niese is going to miss his next start due to his ailing hammy, John Maine is at the library searching for a copy of Throwing Strikes For Dummies and El Perez-idente has been impeached from the rotation.

R.A. Dickey and Hisanori Takahashi will be taking the spots of Niese and Perez, respectively and John Maine is going to have to speed read his way back to respectability. If the month of May ends with Pelfrey, Maine and the vultures in the bullpen continuing to pick up all of the victories, then the Mets and Braves might be renewing their rivalry, but this time it'll be to see who can stay out of last place instead of fighting for a division title.

Tonight's victory was great, but the Mets must do far more to get back in the good spirits of fans, similar to the way they felt during the eight-game winning streak in late April. Big Pelf put the Mets on his 6' 7" frame and carried them out of the cellar. Johan Santana will try to do the same tomorrow night. What will happen after that? It better be a victory or three from one of the other starters. If not, Little Jeffy Wilpon might be setting up the firing squad for Goofus and Gallant.

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But wait, there's more! If you can make it to the Two Boots location in the lower dining concourse of Grand Central Terminal at 7 PM on Tuesday, May 18 (that's tomorrow night!), you will be part of a Mets-tacular celebration! Some of the best Mets writers and bloggers will be on hand sharing their Mets-cellent views, stories and opinions on our beloved Metsies!

On hand will be Greg Prince (Faith and Fear In Flushing), Jon Springer (Mets By The Numbers), Josh Wilker (Cardboard Gods) and my Aunt Coop (My Summer Family)!!

If you bring a Mets baseball card, you can get a free beer. That's right! You'll be able to tell all your friends that Mets legends Tim Bogar and Mark Carreon paid for your beer. You can even bring in that Mel Rojas card that you threw darts at after he gave up that home run to Paul O'Neill.

Of course, yours truly and my Studious Metsimus colleague will be there. Hope you can be a part of Amazin' Tuesday at the Grand Central Terminal location of Two Boots!

Too Much Coy And Vance, Not Enough Bo And Luke

The blogosphere is going crazy these days with all the news about Jose Reyes' hyperthyroid problem. From respected bloggers like Joe D and The Coop, there is no shortage of talk about Reyes and the fact that the Mets lack depth at so many positions.

Carlos Beltran will not be available to the Mets until May at the earliest. If Reyes misses the full eight weeks (has the timetable changed to two minutes to eight months yet?), he will also not register his first at-bat of the season until May. Of course, coming back at around the same time as Carlos Beltran might prevent the Jerry Manuel "Let's Bat Jose Third" Experiment from ever seeing the light of day. Of course, I'm trying to find a bright side to all this while the fluorescent bulb in my brain has fizzled out.

No Reyes, no Beltran. Who do we have waiting in the wings? How about Angel Pagan and Private Matthews for Carlos Beltran and Alex Cora and (shudder to think) Fernando Tatis.

Herein lies the problem for the Mets. They don't have capable backups to replace Beltran, Reyes, et al for an extended period of time. Case in point: In 2009, Alex Cora saw extended playing time due to Reyes' injury. In 271 at-bats, he batted .251 with 11 doubles, one triple and one home run. He also collected 18 RBI. Compare those numbers to the .279 average, seven doubles, two triples, two home runs and 15 RBI amassed by Jose Reyes. Now consider that Reyes did that in only 147 at-bats.

Let's put this into perspective. In 1984, the Mets' backup shortstop was Rafael Santana, a man not known for his hitting skills. As a backup, he only played in 51 games and collected 152 at-bats that season. In those 152 at-bats, he hit .276, with 11 doubles, one triple, one home run and 12 RBI. Those numbers are almost identical to the digits put up by Cora despite the fact that Cora collected 119 more at-bats than Santana did in 1984! Heck, if Johan Santana could play shortstop, I'd take his bat over Cora's.

The Pagan/Matthews combo is somewhat better in the offensive department. However, consider that Beltran was a consistent 20-20 threat and Gold Glove winner. Private Matthews has never hit as many as 20 HR in a season and Angel Pagan hasn't hit 20 HR in his CAREER! Also, neither player has stolen as many as 20 bases in a single season (Matthews' career high was 18 in 2007 and Pagan stole 14 last year for the Mets). That shows how much of a dropoff you're getting whenever Beltran is not in the lineup. They're both adequate fielders, but neither of them would win a Gold Glove over a full season like Beltran would. (And don't let me get started about fundamentals. Beltran puts the "fun" in fundamental, while Pagan brings home the "mental" part, as in he makes fans go mental watching him. I haven't seen enough of Private Matthews, so let's give him the "da" part of fundamental.)

What I'm trying to say in this lengthy diatribe is that the Mets are employing too many Coy and Vance Dukes and not enough Bo and Luke Dukes.

Bo and Luke Duke WERE the Dukes of Hazzard. They were the stars. They were the reason young fans tuned in on Friday night, at least until puberty hit and Daisy Duke became the main reason to tune in. In Season 5, Bo and Luke were "replaced" by Cousin Coy and Cousin Vance. Ratings went down faster than David Wright's 2009 home run output and Bo and Luke were written back in to the show before the season was over.

Alex Cora is Coy Duke and Pagan/Matthews are Vance Duke. They're not capable of carrying Reyes and Beltran's jock straps, let alone replacing them adequately on the field.

The Mets had their chances to sign Felipe Lopez, a younger and more productive player, to back up Reyes at short and chose to re-sign Cora. Lopez then signed a one-year deal with St. Louis for less money than the Mets gave Cora. The Mets could also have signed Jim Edmonds as a backup for Beltran in center and instead decided to trade for Private Matthews. Edmonds has since signed a minor league deal with the Milwaukee Brewers and is in camp with the Brewers trying to become their fourth outfielder. Surely the Mets could have signed him to a similar deal. After all, in his last stint in the majors, he collected 19 HR and 49 RBI in only 250 at-bats for the Chicago Cubs in 2008. We already know he's a Gold Glove-caliber centerfielder.

Are the Wilpons trying to become a modern day Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane, trying to keep as much money for themselves while trying to screw the fans out of the team they deserve to root for?

After Jason Bay, the Mets did not address the issue of role-players. Re-signing Fernando Tatis was as far as they went. They chose to ignore the fact that players who are injured once tend to get injured again. Didn't they learn that the players from last year who were forced into everyday action were not capable of helping this team contend?

Coy and Vance Duke were not adequate replacements for Bo and Luke Duke. The fans never accepted them as Dukes. Similarly, Mets fans should not accept Cora and Pagan/Matthews as adequate replacements for Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran. It's like trying to replace moonshine with water. It might look the same in the bottle, but once you have a taste of it, you'll know the difference.

Cora, Matthews and Pagan will all be wearing the same Mets jerseys as their teammates, but they're not the New York Mets the fans are paying to see. If the Wilpons were Dukes of Hazzard fans, they'd pay close attention to what happened in Season 5. Then maybe they'd see that fans won't accept an inferior product when there are better Dukes on the pond.

Bears Gone Wild: Port St. Lucie Edition

Studious Metsimus decided to send one of its bloggers to Port St. Lucie to cover the Mets and their activities. Since Joey is cuter and stands a much better chance of getting away with things that might cause other bloggers to have their Blogger Union membership revoked, he was sent to Tradition Field. We now turn things over to Joey (seen in the picture to the left with Slider) with his PSL report.

Thanks, esteemed colleague! This is Joey Beartran reporting for Studious Metsimus. I had a great time covering the Mets in Port St. Lucie during Open Workouts. From sampling great breakfast dishes to delicious lunches to sumptuous dinners (and an occasional Mets player here and there), I did my best to bring you the most complete coverage of what the fan experience is like at Open Workouts. So sit back, turn on your favorite sports radio station to listen to the latest Mets pitcher getting rocked while throwing strikes and enjoy what I like to call "Bears Gone Wild: Port St. Lucie Edition".

I woke up at the crack of dawn and to my surprise, I found myself greeted with breakfast in bed. I love the smell of Corn Pops in the morning!


Then it was off to Tradition Field to see batting practice. However, there was not much action going on in the batting cages. Is it possible that Daylight Savings ended and I was the only one who didn't get the memo?


One Mets player did show up and was kind enough to pose for a picture with me. Here I am with minor league prospect Eddie Kunz. I asked him if he felt he had a chance to make the team out of Spring Training and all he did was smile and hide his pitching hand behind my back. Apparently, he was nervous to meet me because he was covered in sweat. That's okay. When you meet the only bear blogger for the Mets, I can understand if you have a sudden case of the jitters.


Later on, I met a member of the 1986 World Champion Mets. He was the starting pitcher in Game 6 of the 1986 NLCS and Game 6 of the World Series. It was an honor to meet fellow lefty Bobby Ojeda.

I talked to Bobby about how he managed to make the transition from the pitcher's mound to the SNY studio in the hopes that someday I can make a similar move from blogger to SNY on-air personality. He just smiled as I overheard him say "am I on Candid Camera?" to our Studious Metsimus photographer.


After a long day of interviewing, photo ops and wondering whose hand was where, it was time to sample the fine cuisine in Port St. Lucie. There was no shortage of fine Floridian food to partake of. Take a look for yourself...



After a wild night of hot wings and brownie sundaes, it was time to hibernate for the evening. Fortunately, Studious Metsimus had enough funds available in the budget (a.k.a. the piggy bank that serves as our petty cash tin) to allow me to stay for another night. Our photographer had to stay in the car, but I promised to share my breakfast the following day as compensation for the room.


As the sun rose and the roosters cock-a-doodle-doo-dooed, (I should know. I accidentally stepped in some of it.) it was time to get back to the field. This time, I arrived a little bit late and the players were already doing some running. Just watching them perform their drills made me tired so I decided to take a load off and rest on the warning track. Had it been batting practice at Citi Field, I would have been in a perfect position to catch a David Wright just-short-of-the-wall double.


After players were done running around (no truth to the rumor that Angel Pagan was messing up the rhythm of the drill by running too aggressively), it was time to meet some more players. I went after a few more lefties and ended up with the motherlode. (sorry, I didn't get to meet my hero, Keith Hernandez. He's the ultimate lefty and the reason why I became a Mets fan. How can any bear not love him after he was caught by the SNY cameras feeding corn chips to a teddy bear in the TV booth during the 17-inning marathon in Houston during the 2007 season? Ah, but I digress...)

First I met the man known as Perpetual Pedro. He's the Mets' all-time single season leader in appearances by a pitcher. He was also the first Mets player, past or present, to actually talk to me when he told me that I looked a little like him. Personally, I didn't see any resemblance other than the two of us wearing a "Mets" on our chests and the fact that we're both lefties. Here I am with Pedro Feliciano.


Finally, I met up with my Aunt Coop and together we were able to attract the attention of the man with the most home runs in Mets history (no, not Tim Bogar). The "Coop" de grâce of the entire trip was getting this picture with the Straw Man himself, Darryl Strawberry!

If I looked like I wanted to be somewhere else, it's because we were about to miss Happy Hour! Fortunately, we were done with our meet and greet session with Mets players, so we headed out to Duffy's for an hour of liquid happiness.

I had to stow away in the bag because I left my "special ID" at home. Fortunately, I was able to partake in Duffy's 2 for 1 offer, although I can't say I remember much after that. I don't even remember being photographed in the picture you see below to the right.



I was told we didn't do anything else after Happy Hour, so we packed up our belongings and headed back to New York. I was hoping to fly over Citi Field to get some overhead shots of the new additions for 2010, such as McFadden's, the reconstructed bullpens and the Mets Museum and Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, the pilot was a Yankee fan so I couldn't convince him to change his flight pattern so that we could land at LaGuardia Airport instead of Newark Liberty.

It's okay. When he wasn't looking, I unbuckled my seatbelt and left him a surprise in the lavatory (and I'm not talking about the iPhone in my lap, if you know what I mean).


Thank you for reading about my experiences as a bear blogger gone wild in Port St. Lucie. With your continued support of Studious Metsimus, we hope to continue to bring you more exclusive content such as this year's Late Winter Training escapades. Maybe next year, our budget will increase. You can never have enough meal money.

For Studious Metsimus, this has been Joey Beartran reporting. Hope to see you all at Citi Field this season!

Special thanks go out to Sharon Chapman and Taryn Cooper for their wonderful photographs and their credit cards. Oh wait, they don't know about the room service I ordered, do they?