Joey's Small Bites: We'll Be On The Field Tonight During Batting Practice!

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! This is Joey Beartran, along with my sister Iggy Beartran. We're here to share some great news with you! If you have tickets to tonight's Mets game against the Pittsburgh Pirates, please remember to arrive early, because we're going to be on the field (along with Studious Metsimus colleague and correspondent, Ed Leyro and Taryn Cooper, respectively) during batting practice.

We'll have our gloves ready, as we'll be shagging fly balls hit by all of your fav'rit Mets and all of your fav'rit no-names on the Pirates.

Are you ready for some baseball? We are!

Of course, we won't be allowed to run all over the field. We'll be near the left field corner in front of the Great Wall of Flushing. In fact, there are many rules and regulations we'll have to follow if we want to stay on the field during the entirety of batting practice.

For example, we can bring one sealed water bottle onto the field (20 oz. or less). However, we're not allowed to bring chicken nachos or any other type of food onto the field, even though the chicken nacho stand is literally a few feet away in the left field corner. Hello? We need food to give us the strength to run down fly balls on the warning track. Not only that, what else are we going to wash down our water with? Cotton candy? (Surprisingly enough, I'm not too fond of cotton candy.)

The no food policy is just one of many guidelines we'll have to follow when we're on the field. Below you will see us holding up the sheet of rules and regulations that was sent to us. If that's too small for you to read (after all, you may have the eyesight of umpire Angel Hernandez), then to the right, you can click on the photo to enlarge the sheet with the rules and guidelines.



Now I can understand the fact that we have to sign a waiver before entering the field (Rule #1). After all, if we get hit on the head by a fly ball, we might not remember our names, where we live or where Shake Shack is. But what about the rule where we can't steal dirt from the warning track (Rule #9)? Didn't the Marlins steal dirt from Shea Stadium after they defeated the Mets in the final game of the 2008 season (otherwise known as the "Shea Goodbye" game)? They didn't heed the fans' calls of "off the field" and they did harm to the Mets by defeating them in a game they needed to win to force a one-game playoff against the Milwaukee Brewers for the wild card berth. Why is it okay for the Marlins to steal dirt from the field but not acceptable for the paying customers to do the same?

What about the "no sliding or diving" rule (Rule #4) or the "no feet or bodies on the wall" rule (Rule #7)? Didn't we have to sign a waiver before entering the field? So if we get hurt while sliding or diving, that was our decision. Also, if we bang our heads or get our feet caught on the wall trying to make a play, again, it's our own fault. The Mets wouldn't be held responsible for any of our injuries because of that waiver. Then again, with all the injuries that have befallen the Mets since they moved into Citi Field, perhaps they're just expecting some of us to get hurt. Anyway, I don't need to slide or dive on the field. I already did that last year and didn't get caught. And Iggy is 100% healthy after hanging out (literally) at the 378 foot sign in right field earlier this year.



Um, about Rule #3, the "no spikes or heels" rule. Why would anyone be wearing heels or spikes to a ballgame anyway? Are there kids going to their senior prom after the game? Is Ty Cobb at the game? Probably not. So why would anyone wear either of those on their feet?

Of course, there's always a chance Gene Simmons might show up in full makeup. Perhaps that rule is specifically for him. But could you imagine the blood-spewing bassist for KISS showing up in his battle armor and wearing Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star sneakers? Then again, he could probably get away with wearing Chuck Taylor knee-high sneaker boots...



So that's all I have to get off my chest for today. We'll be at Citi Field at 4:00pm today to take the field for batting practice prior to the Mets game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. We'll be on the field near the left field corner for a few hours before first pitch. If you show up early, feel free to bring your camera to take pictures of us. Just please don't call our names or say "use two paws" as we're getting ready to catch a fly ball. We'd rather not hear the Mets' staff tell us "see, that's why we made you sign the waiver".

Have a great day watching the game, either at Citi Field or in the comfort of your own homes. We'll try to bring back a ball (and a victory) for you!

Umpire Angel Hernandez Loses Mentor In Leslie Nielsen

Studious Metsimus is sad to report that actor/umpire Leslie Nielsen has passed away at the age of 84. The versatile thespian was influential to many comedians for his deadpan delivery on screen, but his work in the first "Naked Gun" film was a little too influential to an enemy of Mets fans.

For years, Mets fans have had a hate/hate relationship with umpire Angel Hernandez. His strike zone has been wider than CC Sabathia's waistline whenever the Mets are batting. He has also developed a rare form of temporary blindness that has resulted in numerous calls at the plate going against the Mets, as Mike Piazza (c. 1998) and Paul Lo Duca (c. 2006) can attest.

Whenever Angel Hernandez has been on the field for a Mets game, bad calls have always followed. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to Mets fans that he has based his entire style of calling games on the umpiring work of Leslie Nielsen. Don't believe me? Take a look at this video clip, which he accidentally left behind the last time he umpired a game at Citi Field.



When John Franco went ballistic on Hernandez after his blown call at home plate gave the Braves a crucial victory over the Mets in 1998, that was Leslie Nielsen's influence. Similarly, when Paul Lo Duca spiked the ball at home plate after another poor call by Hernandez during a game in 2006, it was right after the arbiter had viewed his favorite film (or as he liked to call it, his umpiring instructional video).

Angel Hernandez will be working with a heavy heart in 2011, as his mentor and inspiration has passed away. Most teams honor those who have died by wearing black patches or armbands on their uniforms. Hernandez will also wear black to honor Leslie Nielsen, but he will wear it in a way that is not only appropriate, but will allow him to come up with new excuses for missing critical calls against the Mets. (see photo below)


Leslie Nielsen starred in many films over his long career. His death will be mourned by millions of fans worldwide. But one fan may take it a little harder than most.

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen. You will be missed by this Mets blogger and surely, you will be missed by Mets' nemesis Angel Hernandez (even if he just called you Shirley).