Texas Two-Step (Part II): Joey Does Dallas

Howdy y'all! This is your fav'rit Studious Metsimus blogger/culinary expert Joey Beartran, reporting for duty. In today's episode, I will recap my just-completed trip to Texas to see the Mets play the Rangers, where our boys in blue and orange took two out of three from the defending American League champions.

As a respected blogger, I expected the Rangers to roll out the red carpet for me upon my arrival in Arlington. I got nothing. No red carpet. Not even a wet towel to combat the oppressive triple digit temperatures. I wasn't even allowed in the press room because they didn't believe me when I said I accidentally lost my media credentials somewhere between our trip to In-N-Out Burger and Sonic. (I must have confused it for a napkin.) The closest I got to the press room was the Media Only sign outside the ballpark.



So I had to sit in the ballpark with the fans. No big deal. I could handle not being in an air-conditioned press box. Plus, it would give me the opportunity to walk around the stadium and try out the ballpark fare at their concession stands.

My first stop was at the bacon dog stand. You read that right. It's a stand that sells hot dogs wrapped in bacon. Unfortunately, I was disappointed with what I expected to be a Texas delicacy. I mean, I like bacon and I like hot dogs. Then again, I like chicken nachos and I like cannolis, but I wouldn't eat them together. That's what the bacon dogs were like. Two fine meats in and of themselves, but one big disappointment when combined on a bun.

Such a promising concept, but I wish it had been bacon AND a hot dog instead on bacon ON a hot dog.

By the time I had donated the rest of my bacon dog to the pigeon that had that "I'm going to poop on you if you don't share your meal with me" look in its eyes, the Mets had already taken a 3-0 lead on the Rangers. Considering the Mets had only scored one run in the opener of the series, putting up a three-spot in the first inning gave me hope that this game would be different.

I was all set to watch Jon Niese take the mound in the bottom of the first inning to protect the lead his teammates had provided for him when something unexpected happened. Something grabbed my attention and wouldn't let it go, no matter how intent I was on watching the game.

It was the nacho stand.

Can you get burritos at Citi Field? I think not!

This was Tex-Mex heaven! In addition to quesadillas and fajita salads, you could also build your own burrito. The vendors handed out a piece of paper, which the patron would fill out detailing exactly what ingredients were to be added to their burrito, salad, nachos, etc.

Of course, I had to try their chicken taco salad in a crispy tortilla bowl. This was not the bacon dog. This was bliss in a bowl. My sister, Iggy, who also made the trip to Texas, shared the salad (and souvenir soda) with me. After eating it, we wished we had ordered one for each of us. It was that good!

What was in our chicken taco salad? The better question might be, what WASN'T in it? Yum!

After consuming the salad, we made our way back to our seats, at which time we noticed that the Mets now had a 6-0 lead. Jonathon Niese, who was unaccustomed to the excessive temperatures, was cruising, while his mound opponent, Alexi Ogando, (7-2, 2.66 ERA and a leading candidate for American League Rookie of the Year) wilted in the Texas heat.

The Mets failed to score in the fourth and fifth frames, so I thought it would be a good time to check out other aspects of the ballpark. We checked out the Mets' bullpen (see first photo below), the seats behind home plate (see middle photo below) and then...well...you know...



After our break with the garlic fries, we walked over to the center field area, where we noticed a giant statue of a man tipping his cap. Upon further inspection, we noticed that it was a statue dedicated to the only Texas Ranger player to have his number retired by the team, Nolan Ryan. (Former manager Johnny Oates is the only other former Ranger to have his number retired, despite the fact that Bobby Valentine is the all-time winningest manager in Ranger history. Yes, the same Bobby Valentine that managed the Mets to the World Series in 2000.)

Of course, as a Mets fan who was born at Shea Stadium, (okay, so technically I was purchased by my colleague in the Mets Team Store behind home plate at Shea in 2004, but for argument's sake, let's just say I was "born" there, ya dig?) I noticed the similarities between the Rangers and the Mets with regards to retired numbers. Both teams have retired only one player's number (Seaver's No. 41 for New York and Ryan's No. 34 for Texas), both teams have retired the number of the manager who led them to their first division title (Hodges' No. 14 for the Mets and Oates' No. 26 for the Rangers) and both have failed to bestow the same honor to Bobby Valentine.

While I was pondering those similarities, I noticed that Iggy had climbed onto Nolan Ryan's glove, so before any Rangers fans could cry sacrilege, I followed her in an effort to get her to come down. Of course, a roving photographer caught us on his glove and snapped the photo below.

Even in the middle of Texas, the paparazzi never rests.

Needless to say, we needed a place to hide before a lynch mob treated us like Frankenstein's monster for sitting on their beloved Nolan Ryan's statue. We tried to get into the Mets' bullpen, but were turned aside. We tried going back to the Tex-Mex stand, but there were too many people standing in line who might recognize us.

It got to the point where we thought everyone was after us. Every Rangers fan on their cell phone appeared to be calling the police in our minds. If I'm not mistaken, I think I overheard one of the fans talking about calling Chuck Norris so he could arrest us, before a fellow fan reminded him that Norris wasn't a real lawman. He only played one on TV.

Chuck Norris Fact: His badge will be retired alongside Nolan Ryan and Johnny Oates' number.

Running out of places to hide, we tried one last time to get into the press box. We circled the area on the second level behind home plate when we were spotted. Fortunately, it wasn't El Rangerdoro (a Lucha Libre wrestler who didn't take kindly to Mets fans on his turf) doing the spotting. A hand reached out from up above and we heard a familiar voice who offered to bring us into the Mets' radio booth, where we'd be safe from television-obsessed fans and masked wrestlers. Who was this kind soul who shielded us in our time of need?

It was none other than longtime Mets' radio play-by-play man, Howie Rose.

Thank you, Howie! You saved us from angry Rangers fans and finally got us into the broadcast booth!

Right after the save by Howie Rose, everything turned for the better. The Mets scored eight more times (finishing the game with a season-high 14 runs) and we were able to escape with a victory and our lives.

We did not attend the final game of the series the following afternoon, an 8-5 victory by the Mets. Our Studious Metsimus colleague will say it was because we had to take a flight home, but if you saw the reactions of El Rangerdoro and the other members of the Church of Nolan Ryan after we sat on their savior's statue, you'd want to get out of Dodge as soon as possible, too.

Our stay in the Dallas area was memorable for many reasons. It was memorable for the variety of food we sampled. (Bacon dogs - bleccchhh, garlic fries - acceptable, chicken taco salad - nom nom nom!) It was memorable for all the crooked numbers the Mets put up on the scoreboard in taking the series from the Rangers. And it was memorable because we went to Texas and became outlaws for a day, even though that wasn't part of the original plan.

I am glad we're back home, though. After all, I don't think Iggy and I were going to fool native Texans much longer with the disguises we put on in order to blend in with the crowd. Well, maybe we could have fooled that Chuck Norris fan...

Joey's Small Bites: While My Co-Blogger Gently Sleeps

Yesterday, I made my first appearance at Citi Field to "enjoy" the home opener . I invited my co-blogger and my fav'rit Studious Metsimus consultant to join me on Opening Day. After all, they could swipe me through the turnstiles with their MetroCards since I had no pockets in my hoodie to carry mine.

Unfortunately, my co-blogger decided to wear shorts and not wear his gray Mets hoodie on an overcast 40-something degree day. Now he's lying in bed with such a horrible sore throat and cough, you'd think he swallowed Keith Hernandez's mustache.

Therefore, since he's too sick to say it, I'll give you the rundown on what's happening today at Citi Field before the game. The aforementioned fav'rit Studious Metsimus consultant and I will be taking the field to meet and greet an unnamed Met before the first pitch. It will not be the first time I've taken the field at a ballgame, as I once stole second base last year.

Luis Castillo wasn't able to keep a hold on second base for the Mets. I found it quite easy to do.

In case you were wondering, I did not get injured as I slid into second base, but I did have a few pebbles up my...

As I was saying earlier, before tonight's 7:10 PM game against the Washington Nationals, I will be taking the field with Taryn Cooper. You know her from Kiner's Korner (the website, not the show that former Cardinals' pitcher Ricky Horton wanted to get on so badly that he would practice in front of his mirror as a youth) and Mets Merized Online.

If you're at the game, please look out for us wreaking havoc on the infield dirt or outfield grass. We won't know which player we'll be meeting or which position we'll be occupying. But we do know that it will be lots of fun and a once in a lifetime experience that we hope happens again.

(Note: For those of you wondering about the so-called "Joey Jinx", where I take a photo with a Mets player and that player subsequently gets injured and/or traded, we are taking all precautions so that that doesn't happen tonight. But the players are signing waivers just in case...)

Also, to my co-blogger, please feel better soon. As you know, I couldn't carry my wallet in my hoodie either, so it'll be up to you to carry the money for food. I hope you have my chicken nachos ready for me for when I come back to my seat. After all, if the Mets lose again today, I might need to drown my sorrows in shredded chicken and chips.

Nachos Grande, $7.75. Chicken Nachos, $9.25. The experience of eating them at Citi Field, priceless.

Joey's Soapbox: Derek Jeter, Six Years Ago & If At Second You Don't Succeed

Greetings, fellow Mets fans! Winter will be officially over in a few days, which means two things.

First, I'll finally be able to finally put away my annoying poofball hat after a long, cold winter. But more importantly, it'll be time to hear the sweet sounds of Mets baseball at Citi Field, after what seemed like an interminable off-season.

Although my thoughts have turned to baseball bats, alternate caps and Shake Shack, there are still some things happening in the baseball world that I have to get off my hoodie.

I'm Joey Beartran and it's time for me to get on my soapbox.


Derek Jeter

Earlier this week, a recent poll conducted by the Siena College Research Institute named Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter the greatest New York athlete of all-time. Let me repeat that. In a town that seen Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Joe Namath and several outstanding thoroughbred race horses, Derek Jeter was the one who was named best New York athlete.

Who were the people voting in this poll, 14-year-old girls? I guess the same people who cast their votes in this poor excuse for a poll also voted for Kurt Rambis as the best Los Angeles athlete, Cliff Clavin as Boston's finest athletic star and Lazy Smurf as the top athlete of Smurf Village? Give me a break, people!




Six Years Ago

On this date in 2005, 'roids were all the rage in Washington, as Congress called for a special hearing featuring past and present baseball players to discuss the presence of steroids in baseball. It was during these hearings that Mark McGwire realized that he didn't want to dwell on the past, Sammy Sosa forgot how to speak English and Rafael Palmeiro gave the finger to Congress.

Six years later, all of these players are out of baseball and none of them has reached the Hall of Fame, as McGwire received less than 25% of the vote in each of his five eligible years for enshrinement, Palmeiro garnered the support of 11% of the voters in 2011 and Sammy Sosa has to wait until 2013 to see if he'll be able to pop the cork (no pun intended) on his Cooperstown Champagne.

So where are these players now?

Mark McGwire is now the hitting coach of the St. Louis Cardinals. That means a man who never hit 30 doubles in a single season and only finished with 265 more career hits than Ed Kranepool is now coaching Albert Pujols on how to hit. To have McGwire impart his hitting "wisdom" on Pujols is like having Kate Moss teach me how to eat chicken nachos. That's all I have to say about that.

After playing his last game as a member of the Texas Rangers in 2007, Sammy Sosa has done his best to stay out of the spotlight, disappearing from the public eye. The last time he was spotted in public, he was overheard humming Michael Jackson's "Black or White" as he was shopping for, as he called it, one of the most important works in American literature (see photo, right). His interpreter then corrected him by saying that a CD-ROM isn't technically a piece of literature.

When not complaining about his low Hall of Fame vote, Rafael Palmeiro has quietly become one of the country's premier hand models. The former Mets' eighth round draft pick's work can now be seen wherever hand sanitizers are sold.


If At Second You Don't Succeed

We've been getting conflicting reports from the Mets on who the starting second baseman will be in 2011. Terry Collins wants Luis Hernandez. Sandy Alderson wants an offensive-minded second baseman. That would probably eliminate Hernandez, who has eight extra-base hits in 265 major league at-bats, to go with a .286 OBP in the majors and a .302 OBP in the minors.

Brad Emaus and Daniel Murphy are still candidates for the position, but their defensive "skills" make former Marlins' second baseman Dan Uggla look like a Gold Glover at the position.

There is no truth to the rumor that Uggla traded in his old No. 6 uniform number with the Marlins for a No. E-4 jersey with the Braves.

Here's what I think. Wally Backman was promoted from Brooklyn to AA-Binghamton. Tim Teufel made the jump from Binghamton to AAA-Buffalo. I think they're just going to manage their respective minor league ballclubs until Labor Day weekend (the traditional end of the minor league season). Once their managerial duties are done, they will be promoted to the Mets, where they will compete for the second baseman's job. Terry Collins will be happy with the feisty Backman, while Sandy Alderson will take comfort that he has the bat of Tim Teufel. Is it a bad thing that I think a Backman/Teufel platoon would still be better than anything the Mets could throw out there right now?

I think I've worn out my welcome on the soapbox. It's time to get into mid-season form, which means I'll be sitting in front of the TV with a bunch of chicken nachos. Who knows what will happen before Opening Day? Will Carlos Beltran start the season on the disabled list? Will Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo be on the unemployment line? Will I get a tryout to play second base? Hey, if no else wants it, I'll take it (see photo below). Enjoy the last two weeks of Spring Training!

Joey's Soapbox: Two Years Later, It's Still Hard To Shea Goodbye

Two years ago today, on September 28, 2008, Shea Stadium hosted its final Mets game. It was also the final time I set foot inside the place where I was born. I'm Joey Beartran and although it's been two full years, it's still hard for me to Shea goodbye.

On June 20, 2004, the Mets played the final game of a three-game interleague series against the Detroit Tigers. It was also Father's Day. I was hanging out at the Mets Team Store behind home plate at Shea Stadium when the man who would later become my Studious Metsimus colleague introduced himself to me and offered me the opportunity to watch the Mets game with him. He also offered me some chicken tenders. Of course, I said yes.

That was the beginning of my business relationship with my colleague, but it was also the day I first experienced Shea Stadium in its entirety. At my young age (about 15 minutes old at the time), I was overwhelmed by Shea's beauty.

We went up to my colleague's regular Sunday Plan seats in the Mezzanine Level (Section 7, Row E, Seats 16 and 17) and I marveled at the field, the players, the food vendors (ESPECIALLY the food vendors) and the entire Shea Stadium experience.

It was unlike anything else I had ever experienced in my life (which by then had doubled to about 30 minutes old). The Mets won that first game I attended, which was the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.

The following year, in 2005, the Mets brought in Willie Randolph to manage the "New" Mets, led by new acquisitions Carlos Beltran and Pedro Martinez. Those Mets finished with an 83-79 record, giving them their best record since 2000, which was the last time Shea Stadium hosted a World Series game.

The following season was even better, as the Mets went 97-65 and came within one win of the World Series. Despite Endy Chavez's highlight reel catch (see below, left), the Mets fell to the St. Louis Cardinals in seven games. I attended Games 1 and 6, both Mets victories, but was not present for the stunning seventh game loss. That offseason was a very difficult one for me, as even when I dreamed about Shea Stadium, all I saw was Cardinal red (see below, right).



The 2007 and 2008 seasons should have been about redemption. The Mets should have made the playoffs both seasons and should have inaugurated Citi Field with a championship banner. However, instead of silly celebration, there was Phillie denigration, as the Mets were eliminated from postseason contention on the final day of each season.

First came Tom Glavine's "non-devastating" loss in 2007 on the day after John Maine's near no-hitter. Then came the final game of the 2008 season - Shea Stadium's final game. My colleague had brought me back to the place where I was born in the hopes that the team (and my birthplace) could avoid an early death. It was not to be.

For the second consecutive season, the Mets tried to hook the Marlins and instead took a right hook to the face, groin, you name it. If the Marlins could rip the heart out of a team, its fans, a ballpark, a Joey...they did just that. Two years, two final game defeats to the Marlins. Two was a popular number that day, as I left my birthplace for the final time feeling like number two after the events of September 28, 2008. Not even a final pitch from Tom Seaver to Mike Piazza could change the fact that I was feeling more blue than orange.

So here we are, two years after I left Shea Stadium for the final time. The ballpark may be gone, but my memories of it are still intact.

From my first memories of Art Howe and wondering why he was ever our manager to begin with to seeing George "The Stork" Theodore during the Shea Goodbye ceremony and marveling at his oddly-shaped shoulders, Shea Stadium will always be home to me. It is where I began my love affair with the Mets, ballpark cuisine and Lou Monte. (Lazy Mary, anyone?)

Citi Field is my new home. However, while I may have replaced the chicken tenders with chicken nachos, I'll never replace the spot in my mind and in my heart for Shea Stadium. It is forever locked away in both places, where no one will ever take it from me.

Casey Stengel will always live there. So will Gil Hodges and the Miracle Mets. The 1986 Amazin' Mets will always be welcome at the bar. Mookie Wilson's little roller will always go through Bill Buckner's legs. Mike Piazza will forever be hitting homers off Roger Clemens there as well.

Shea Stadium is mine. It's yours. It's everyone's. It's been two years since its doors closed for the final time, but all Mets fans have a piece of the key. All you have to is close your eyes, think of Bob Murphy's voice and Shea Stadium will always be there. And that, my friends, is the happiest recap of all.

The Studious Metsimus/My Summer Family World Tour Invades Baltimore

As some of you may know, the owners/creators/grounds crew of Studious Metsimus and the more superior Mets blog, My Summer Family, spent the weekend in Merry-Land, cheering the Mets on to victory over the Baltimore Orioles.

In the land of crab cakes, crab pretzels and all things crabby, the Mets eschewed the broom for a mallet as they won all three games from the O-no-rioles.

The sweep represented the first consecutive road victories for the Mets since they won the last two games of their series against the Houston Astros last July 25 and 26. It was also their first road sweep since taking three games from the Milwaukee Brewers at Miller Park (LESS FILLING! TASTES GREAT!) in early September 2008.

Let's give you a photo recap of some of the more memorable moments of the Studious Metsimus/My Summer Family World Tour as it made its way into Charm City.

We reached Oriole Park at Camden Yards in the early afternoon and felt like we were at home. Some of this had to do with the fact that the exterior of the ballpark (colors, bricks) reminded us of Citi Field, but most of it was because of the abundance of Mets fans who made their way into Baltimore for the series. At one point, we even overheard some traffic cops at an intersection saying "for every Orioles fan I see, there seem to be ten Mets fans." They weren't kidding. Mets fans were EVERYWHERE!

Numerous Mets players were on the field, either stretching or taking batting practice. Our cameras were out in full force capturing the pre-game action, as you will see below (clockwise from top left: Pedro Feliciano stretching in the outfield; the players running off the field; hitting coach Howard Johnson walking into the dugout; Johan Santana saluting the fans).




After taking two close games on Friday and Saturday, winning by the final scores of 5-1 and 3-1, respectively, the Mets' bats came alive in the series finale on Sunday, pounding out 18 hits in their 11-4 thrashing of the Orioles.

The offensive explosion by the Mets was good enough to elicit these smiles from the headliners of the Studious Metsimus/My Summer Family World Tour (from left to right, Joey's Colleague, Joey and The Coop).

Of course, no post on the ongoing tour would be complete without a special edition of Joey's Soapbox. Here to share his Camden Yards experience with you is my colleague, Joey Beartran.

JOEY'S SOAPBOX JOEY'S SOAPBOX JOEY'S SOAPBOX JOEY'S SOAPBOX

Joey's Soapbox

Thank you for the kind introduction, o esteemed Studious Metsimus colleague. Of course, by now most of our readers looking for my segment have probably left to pursue other reading interests. Or maybe they're watching the Mets game. For those SMFs who are still here, welcome to the latest installment of Joey's Soapbox.

As you can see from the photo above, I was invited to join the World Tour as it invaded Baltimore. Our tour bus dropped us off in the sweltering downtown Baltimore area, making me regret the fact that I was still wearing my long-sleeved Mets hoodie.

No matter. Joey Beartran was in town and I wasn't leaving without a victory or three. Next stop, Oriole Park at Camden Yards, which was just an Ike Davis blast away from Baltimore's Inner Harbor. (But first, we had to make a pit stop for food. Even bear bloggers have to eat sometime.)

I was amazed to see how friendly all the people were in the town known as Charm City. Even restaurants welcomed us on their blackboards (see photo, right). They must have known that we were going to review them in a blog so they went all out to impress us.

However, for all the effort they put into welcoming our entourage with their Mid-Atlantic hospitality, they forgot the most important thing. Two words. GENEROUS PORTIONS. I mean, look at the photo below.

That picture was taken before I had taken a bite. What were they trying to do? Give me one french fry for every win the Orioles had this year? (That would be 17 fries. Speaking of 17, RETIRE IT!) Needless to say, I will slightly disappointed with this aspect of the Tour De Baltimore.

After the snack that was supposed to be my dinner, we made it to the ballpark, where I made sure that my presence was felt.



Since my dinner/snack hadn't filled me up, at first glance I thought the sign above said "Home of The Oreos". Again, I was disappointed.

Not all was lost. While walking around the concourse level near Eutaw St. (that's the street where the warehouse behind the right field area is located), I ran into the Mets' SNY/WPIX roving reporter, Kevin Burkhardt (see photo, below left). I also found out what he does when he's not on camera (see photo, below right).



Kevin was very gracious by posing with me twice. Mad props go out to KB for helping to make my Baltimore experience more pleasurable. (Note to our readers: I apologize to those who can't see what the front of the cow costume says because I was blocking it in the shot. It actually says "EAT MOR CHIKIN", which is the intentionally misspelled slogan for Chick-fil-A. I wouldn't have blocked it had it said "EAT MORE CHICKEN NACHOS".)

Next, it was time to get to the field level. I must say, the ushers/security at Camden Yards were much more accommodating than the ones at Citi Field. They let me climb the foul pole and sit on top of the Mets dugout while the team was taking batting practice. Not once did they ask me to move (see photos below). Can you imagine that happening at Citi Field?



Oriole Park at Camden Yards may not have the great food selection that Citi Field has. The same can be said for the restaurants surrounding the ballpark. However, one thing is for sure. If you want to travel anywhere in the country to feast on bad pitching, then Baltimore is the place to be.

The Mets outscored the Orioles in the three-game series by thirteen runs (19-6) and never trailed in any of the three games. The team did so well on the field that they didn't even notice when I tried to get on it.

Hats off to the Orioles and their fans (all three of them) for providing me with a great weekend getaway. The Mets also helped in my weekend experience by proving that they can indeed win on the road, making future stops on the Studious Metsimus/My Summer Family World Tour far more than just a dining experience for me. Now, in addition to sampling the local fare at every stop the Tour makes, we might be sampling a victory or three.

On behalf of my Studious Metsimus colleague and the lovely My Summer Family hostess, I'd like to thank you for being a part of our World Tour. Which city will we invade next? For that, you'll have to keep reading Studious Metsimus. Until then, this is Joey Beartran, reminding you to EAT MOR CHIKIN NACHOS. (Just don't eat mine!)

Joey's Soapbox: Changes At Citi Field Everywhere But On The Field

Welcome to the latest edition of Joey's Soapbox. As always, I'm your fav'rit Studious Metsimus correspondent, Joey Beartran. Today I'm getting up on my soapbox to talk about a real doozy. It's about all these new changes at Citi Field.

For the past year, fans have clamored for Citi Field to be more Mets-centric. Homages to the Brooklyn Dodgers can be seen everywhere. There's the exterior of Citi Field resembling the main entrance at Ebbets Field. There's also the Jackie Robinson Rotunda. Once you take the center escalators up to the Field Level seating area, you're faced with the Ebbets Club. There's even a '47 shop that sells vintage clothing. (I wasn't around in 1947, but I heard that was a good year for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Something about the rookie season of the aforementioned Mr. Robinson and the Dodgers winning the pennant.)

See what I mean? Everywhere you went at Citi Field, you couldn't escape the Brooklyn Dodgers. Do you want to go even further? How about the store for ladies on the Excelsior Level? (Touch by Alyssa Milano)

Alyssa Milano was born in Brooklyn! She has confessed to being a Dodger fan and season ticket holder! (According to that link, she also follows many Dodger blogs, but does not follow Studious Metsimus. I will now have to put up my Who's The Boss Season 1 DVD for sale on eBay because of that.) Yes, I know there are other Touch stores in other major league stadiums, but surely the Wilpons must have jumped at the idea of having a Touch boutique at Citi Field when a Brooklyn-born Dodger fan is behind it.

So this year, the Mets are going all out to make Citi Field have more of a Mets feel to it. They started with the renaming of certain areas of the ballpark. In 2010, fans can now enter through the Gil Hodges VIP entrance, the Tom Seaver VIP entrance and the Casey Stengel VIP entrance. (We have not received confirmation on whether the janitors' entrance was renamed to honor Doug Sisk.) The bridge in right field was also renamed as the Shea Bridge.

In addition to the newly renamed areas of the ballpark, the Mets were going to construct a Hall of Fame and Museum adjacent to the Jackie Robinson Rotunda. They were also finally going to induct new members to their Hall of Fame, all of which were instrumental to the 1986 World Championship team.

In February, the Mets announced that McFadden's Restaurant and Saloon would be opening a new location at Citi Field. Now comes word that the Mets are adding new menu items to their various eating establishments, as well as new eating establishments for fans to enjoy.

The one thing I couldn't help but notice was the fact that there will now be poutine at Box Frites. (Shameless plug: For those who don't know what poutine is, please read this Studious Metsimus classic, where I discussed the topic with Professeur Bay.) Do you think this would have happened had the Mets not signed Sgt. Bay of The Yukon to a multi-year deal? Are they now going to have Molson, Labatt and Sleeman on tap at McFadden's?

Next thing you know, the Mets are going to put out an official press release stating that during the sixth inning, they will conduct races similar to the sausage race in Milwaukee and the Presidents Race in Washington. It will feature Terrance and Phillip (from South Park), Geddy Lee and Anne Murray. Similar to Teddy Roosevelt in Washington, Anne Murray will never be allowed to win one of these races.

Terrance, Phillip and Geddy Lee won't even allow Anne Murray to appear in these photos.

Ah, but I digress. What's the point of this rant from my soapbox? I'll tell you. In 2009, fans were treated to shoddy baseball by the Not Ready For The Major League Players. The result of that was a 70-92 season and fans coming to games dressed as empty seats.

Since the Wilpons and Omar Minaya couldn't get anyone other than Jason Bay to sign with the Mets (the Catcher Crusaders notwithstanding), they needed to do something to attract the fans' interest. Therefore, they're loading Citi Field with all these new attractions so that when the team is losing to the Phillies, Braves, Marlins and Nationals, no one will seem to notice because they're too busy in the Museum or drinking at McFadden's or savoring their poutine.

I am a Mets fan and I always will be. Although I'm not quite six years old (I'll be six on June 20. Send cake and chicken nachos.), I'm old enough to remember the dark days of the Art Howe Era. I want last year's team to be a fluke and not a throwback to the Art Howe days.

Perhaps if this off-season had featured better movements regarding player transactions (i.e. an improved starting rotation), the Mets wouldn't have to resort to these other fan-friendly changes to attract their fanbase. I'm sure I'll enjoy all these new amenities (especially the poutine) but I would enjoy it more if the product on the field had improved as well. Sure, they could surprise us and have all their injured players return to good health and good performances. Maybe even Oliver Perez might pitch a good game or twelve. But right now, the Mets might be a .500 team at best.

Hey, Mets fans. Look on the bright side. At least we can drown our sorrows with a Molson at McFadden's.