DJ Joey B Presents: A Charlie Samuels Top Ten List

What's up, everyone?  Welcome to the party!  And why exactly are we throwing this party?  I'll tell you why!   This is the 500th Studious Metsimus post!  So throw your hands up in the air and wave them around as if you had no concerns!

For those of you who just crashed the party, allow me to introduce myself.  My handle is DJ Joey B and I'm here to put my spin on things.  Today, I have a special 500th post countdown for you.  If you've been listening to your Mets-related news this week, you might have an idea where this countdown is going.

Yesterday, former Mets' clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels pleaded guilty to the Queens Supreme Court, admitting that he made off with over $2 million worth of team memorabilia.  Samuels will be spared having to take a walk down the blue and orange mile, as he will not have to serve jail time for his crime.  However, as part of his punishment, he will be placed on five years probation.  He will also have to pay a total of $59,000 to the Mets, the city and the state, as well as return his collection of autographed items.  Furthermore, he has been banned for life from Citi Field, joining the tens of thousands of fans who have already decided to do the same thing.

In honor (or dishonor, in this case) of yesterday's verdict, I'd like to count down the top ten items Charlie Samuels would have sold if he was still into that "betraying trust/greed is good" thing.  This top ten pretty much spans every era in Mets history, proving that Samuels was an equal opportunity leech.

So get out your leisure suit and put on those boogie shoes.  I'm not just saying that because Charlie Samuels will try to swipe them to list them on eBay.  I'm saying it because we're ready to count things down!


Top 10 Things Charlie Samuels Would Have Sold... (...if it wasn't kinda sorta illegal for him to do)


10. Casey Stengel decoder ring

Have you ever watched old footage of Casey Stengel?  The "Old Perfessor" proved to be one of the best multi-taskers in club history, as he served as both team manager and team butcher (of the English language).  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that a Casey Stengel decoder ring would fetch quite a haul if it were to be sold.  Fans of the original Mets would scoop it up faster than you can say "Metsie, Metsie, Metsie."


9. Signed contract where M. Donald Grant sold his soul to the devil

In 2004, Cubs fans blew up the Steve Bartman ball in an attempt to change their fortunes.  Mets fans should follow suit by burning the contract signed by M. Donald Grant in which he sold his soul to Beelzebub.  The highest bidder for the parchment would get the opportunity to do just that in the hopes that erasing the name of the man who traded away Tom Seaver and was lurking behind the scenes in the Nolan Ryan deal would finally allow the Mets to record their first no-hitter (both Ryan and Seaver accomplished the feat after leaving New York) and their next Hall of Famer (Seaver is the lone player in Cooperstown wearing a Mets cap on his plaque).


8. Lee Mazzilli's game-used pants (circa 1979)

What woman in the late '70s didn't want to be in Lee Mazzilli's pants?  Unfortunately, those pants were tighter than Fred Wilpon's wallet, making it impossible for anyone other than Maz to fit in them.  Therefore, those pants would go to the woman (or man) with the highest bid.  It goes without saying that the pants would look lovely alongside that person's collection of Scott Baio posters and Leif Garrett albums.


7. Nino Espinosa's afro

Do you remember Nino Espinosa's afro?  Charlie Samuels sure did.  Trying to cash in on the latest craze of televising ballplayers' haircuts, Nino's noggin would be shaved in a televised special, with the Brillo Pad locks being sold to the fan with the deepest pockets and the weirdest fetish in recorded history.


6. Doug Sisk pitching video (on Beta)

Here's a little known fact.  Before Tom Emanski became a household name for his defensive drill videos, Doug Sisk tried to do the same with his pitching video.  Two things got in the way of this becoming a must-have video for all baseball fans.  First, although it was recorded in 1984 (when Sisk was still good), it wasn't released until the spring of 1985 (when Sisk was anything but good).  Second, it was only released on Betamax, not VHS.  As such, it has become a rare item that would net a pretty penny and would make a fine addition to anyone's collection.  (Act now and as a bonus, you'll receive the George Foster-helmed masterpiece, "Get Metsmerized", on vinyl or 8-track.)


5. Bret Saberhagen Clorox commercial

It might only be 30 seconds long, but it's half a minute of heaven.  Bret Saberhagen, who once had a squeaky clean image, was spotted doing a squeaky clean ad for Clorox Bleach soon after signing with the Mets in 1992.  Although bleach became synonymous with Saberhagen later on in his Mets career for other reasons, owning this 30-second video (which we're happy to say is NOT on Beta) will brighten anyone's day.


4. Copy of "The Worst Team Money Could Buy" w/special autograph

It's common knowledge that a book signed by its author will be more valuable than a John Hancock-less book.  But what about a book signed by one of its "characters"?  In what was sure to be a true collector's item, Charlie Samuels was looking to part with a special copy of "The Worst Team Money Could Buy", signed by Bobby Bonilla in Bob Klapisch's blood.  No tour guide should be caught dead without one.


3. Moises Alou's unused toilet paper

Prior to becoming a Met in 2007, Moises Alou admitted that he would pee on his hands to toughen his skin.  Therefore, although his pantry was full of toilet paper, he never had any use for it, choosing to use his "handy wipes" instead.  Unlike other players' memorabilia, Alou gave Samuels full permission to squeeze his Charmin from his pantry.  Samuels added a little color to the unused TP to make it a must-have for any Mets fan, especially the flatulent ones.


2. Jonathon Niese's old nose

After Jonathon Niese took plastic surgery advice from a now-former Met who has a big mole on his face, the lefty's old nose became a hot collector's item.  From Joan Rivers to Toucan Sam, celebrities from New York to Sollywood have inquired about the availability of Niese's old schnoz.  Charlie Samuels was expecting this (which is why he asked that former Met to subtly "suggest" rhinoplasty to Niese) so he could reap the benefits from selling Niese's old honker.


...and the No. 1 piece of memorabilia Charlie Samuels would have sold if it wasn't just a little bit illegal right now is...


1.  Fred Wilpon's Sandy Koufax souvenir cup

It's not a surprise that Fred Wilpon has many collectibles of his high school sweetheart.  His closet is full of Sandy Koufax Brooklyn Dodger jerseys and his night stand and medicine cabinet have their share of Sandy Koufax souvenir cups.  Although Samuels was not able to say whether or not the items were game used, he was certain the only place they were found were in Papa Smirk's night stand and medicine cabinet, right next to his collection of Sandy Koufax Kleenex boxes.

June Swoon? Not So Soon!

Entering tonight's game against the Tigers, the Mets have been red hot, going 14-4 in the month of June. As the temperature rises, so has the expectation of the fans.

What was once a pessimistic fan base has now become increasingly optimistic about the prospect of the Mets playing meaningful games in September and beyond.

At the 70-game mark, the Mets find themselves in second place, a game and a half behind the first-place Braves (who also have the best record in the National League). The Mets also lead the Giants by half a game in the Wild Card race.

The Mets have had better won-loss records after 70 games (they were 49-21 at the 70-game mark in 1986), but June has been another story. As a matter of fact, the Mets have had more than their share of June swoons, even in their best seasons. Take a look at their year-by-year records in June:

1962: 8-23
1963: 11-17
1964: 8-22
1965: 9-21
1966: 14-19
1967: 11-18
1968: 16-14
1969: 19-9
1970: 15-10
1971: 18-11
1972: 12-15
1973: 11-17
1974: 10-16
1975: 16-15
1976: 15-13
1977: 15-13
1978: 10-18
1979: 15-11
1980: 15-14
1981: 2-7 (strike season)
1982: 9-18
1983: 13-18
1984: 16-12
1985: 11-18
1986: 19-9
1987: 16-12
1988: 15-13
1989: 15-11
1990: 21-7
1991: 13-15
1992: 11-17
1993: 6-21
1994: 9-18
1995: 10-17
1996: 15-13
1997: 15-12
1998: 12-15
1999: 17-10
2000: 16-8
2001: 13-15
2002: 11-15
2003: 10-16
2004: 13-13
2005: 13-13
2006: 15-12
2007: 12-15
2008: 13-15
2009: 9-18
2010: 14-4 (so far)


Over their first 48 seasons, the Mets have won more than 16 games in June only five times. In three of those five seasons, the Mets advanced to the postseason (1969, 1986, 1999), winning the World Series in two of those campaigns (1969, 1986).

Entering tonight's game, the Mets have eight games left in June. If they win only three of those games, they will become only the sixth Mets team to register more than 16 wins in the month of June. Going .500 (4-4) over their remaining eight games will give them their fourth month of June with at least 18 wins. Six wins would give them only their second 20-win June. Of course, if the Mets win all of their remaining games this month, they will have the best June in franchise history.

It's interesting to note that in both of their championship seasons, the Mets went 19-9 in June. If the 2010 Mets win five of their remaining eight games this month, they will finish with a 19-9 record in June.

History has shown that the Mets have not performed well in the month of June. However, the 2010 Mets have been rewriting the team's history books this month. If the Mets can finish June as strongly as they started it, this season might add a few more chapters to the Mets history book.

Omar Lives By The Rules of The Old Perfesser

First it was Chris Coste. Then it was Henry Blanco. Earlier today, Joe D at Mets Merized Online posted that the Mets might go after Rod Barajas if they can’t get Bengie Molina. SI.com’s Jon Heyman is now saying that the Mets are considering offering Molina a one-year deal worth $6 million, plus an option for a second year. Heyman states that teams in the larger markets aren’t in need of frontline catchers. Therefore, the Mets feel they can sign Molina since the smaller-market teams are probably not willing to spend as much for catchers when there are less expensive catching options available.

What I’d like to know is this. The Mets have been saying that their top priority at the Winter Meetings is to acquire pitching. If this is indeed the case, then why does it appear that they’re signing or attempting to sign every catcher this side of Hobie Landrith? Is Omar Minaya thinking of Casey Stengel’s famous words when they drafted the aforementioned Landrith with their first pick in the 1961 expansion draft?

When asked about the signing of Landrith when there were other players the Mets could have drafted to become the cornerstone of their fledgling franchise, Stengel said the following:

"You gotta have a catcher or you're gonna have a lot of passed balls."

I get that the Mets need a catcher for 2010. Brian Schneider has signed with the Phillies and Omir Santos is not a #1 catcher. But regardless of who the Mets sign to be their top catcher next season, he is not going to be the long-term solution there. It appears as if Josh Thole will be the full-time catcher for the Mets by 2011. The Mets should just settle on one catcher instead of spending all of their Monopoly money on houses for Mediterranean Avenue and Baltic Avenue. If they continue to sign every catcher available, they’re not going to have the resources to put hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk.

Make up your mind, Omar. Do you want to have the fewest passed balls in baseball or do you want to put together the best team so that the fans won’t continue to dress as green seats for games in September? While you were attempting to sign every backstop available, other teams are already signing potential players that would help them, even at catcher. (The Nationals signed Ivan Rodriguez to a two-year deal worth $6 million, according to Yahoo's Tim Brown on his Twitter page.)

I’m usually a patient person, but come on. I’m tired of other teams getting effective players the Mets could have had, while we get scrubs and past-their-prime players. If the Mets come back from the Winter Meetings with their fifth and sixth-string catchers and don’t come back with a top-notch pitcher or their starting leftfielder for 2010, this team might continue to resemble the teams Casey Stengel used to manage. The fans might have bought into it then, but they surely won’t buy into it now.