Joey's Soapbox: Derek Jeter, Six Years Ago & If At Second You Don't Succeed

Greetings, fellow Mets fans! Winter will be officially over in a few days, which means two things.

First, I'll finally be able to finally put away my annoying poofball hat after a long, cold winter. But more importantly, it'll be time to hear the sweet sounds of Mets baseball at Citi Field, after what seemed like an interminable off-season.

Although my thoughts have turned to baseball bats, alternate caps and Shake Shack, there are still some things happening in the baseball world that I have to get off my hoodie.

I'm Joey Beartran and it's time for me to get on my soapbox.


Derek Jeter

Earlier this week, a recent poll conducted by the Siena College Research Institute named Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter the greatest New York athlete of all-time. Let me repeat that. In a town that seen Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Joe Namath and several outstanding thoroughbred race horses, Derek Jeter was the one who was named best New York athlete.

Who were the people voting in this poll, 14-year-old girls? I guess the same people who cast their votes in this poor excuse for a poll also voted for Kurt Rambis as the best Los Angeles athlete, Cliff Clavin as Boston's finest athletic star and Lazy Smurf as the top athlete of Smurf Village? Give me a break, people!




Six Years Ago

On this date in 2005, 'roids were all the rage in Washington, as Congress called for a special hearing featuring past and present baseball players to discuss the presence of steroids in baseball. It was during these hearings that Mark McGwire realized that he didn't want to dwell on the past, Sammy Sosa forgot how to speak English and Rafael Palmeiro gave the finger to Congress.

Six years later, all of these players are out of baseball and none of them has reached the Hall of Fame, as McGwire received less than 25% of the vote in each of his five eligible years for enshrinement, Palmeiro garnered the support of 11% of the voters in 2011 and Sammy Sosa has to wait until 2013 to see if he'll be able to pop the cork (no pun intended) on his Cooperstown Champagne.

So where are these players now?

Mark McGwire is now the hitting coach of the St. Louis Cardinals. That means a man who never hit 30 doubles in a single season and only finished with 265 more career hits than Ed Kranepool is now coaching Albert Pujols on how to hit. To have McGwire impart his hitting "wisdom" on Pujols is like having Kate Moss teach me how to eat chicken nachos. That's all I have to say about that.

After playing his last game as a member of the Texas Rangers in 2007, Sammy Sosa has done his best to stay out of the spotlight, disappearing from the public eye. The last time he was spotted in public, he was overheard humming Michael Jackson's "Black or White" as he was shopping for, as he called it, one of the most important works in American literature (see photo, right). His interpreter then corrected him by saying that a CD-ROM isn't technically a piece of literature.

When not complaining about his low Hall of Fame vote, Rafael Palmeiro has quietly become one of the country's premier hand models. The former Mets' eighth round draft pick's work can now be seen wherever hand sanitizers are sold.


If At Second You Don't Succeed

We've been getting conflicting reports from the Mets on who the starting second baseman will be in 2011. Terry Collins wants Luis Hernandez. Sandy Alderson wants an offensive-minded second baseman. That would probably eliminate Hernandez, who has eight extra-base hits in 265 major league at-bats, to go with a .286 OBP in the majors and a .302 OBP in the minors.

Brad Emaus and Daniel Murphy are still candidates for the position, but their defensive "skills" make former Marlins' second baseman Dan Uggla look like a Gold Glover at the position.

There is no truth to the rumor that Uggla traded in his old No. 6 uniform number with the Marlins for a No. E-4 jersey with the Braves.

Here's what I think. Wally Backman was promoted from Brooklyn to AA-Binghamton. Tim Teufel made the jump from Binghamton to AAA-Buffalo. I think they're just going to manage their respective minor league ballclubs until Labor Day weekend (the traditional end of the minor league season). Once their managerial duties are done, they will be promoted to the Mets, where they will compete for the second baseman's job. Terry Collins will be happy with the feisty Backman, while Sandy Alderson will take comfort that he has the bat of Tim Teufel. Is it a bad thing that I think a Backman/Teufel platoon would still be better than anything the Mets could throw out there right now?

I think I've worn out my welcome on the soapbox. It's time to get into mid-season form, which means I'll be sitting in front of the TV with a bunch of chicken nachos. Who knows what will happen before Opening Day? Will Carlos Beltran start the season on the disabled list? Will Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo be on the unemployment line? Will I get a tryout to play second base? Hey, if no else wants it, I'll take it (see photo below). Enjoy the last two weeks of Spring Training!

Broken News: While We Were Away In San Francisco

As some of you may or may not have known, the Studious Metsimus staff (minus roving reporter/culinary expert Joey Beartran) spent the past five days in San Francisco, visiting the plethora of tourist attractions (see photo, left) and hoping to bring back some of that championship attitude that has permeated the Bay Area now that the Giants have finally won their first championship since leaving the Polo Grounds over half a century ago.

However, we were unsuccessful in our attempts to take that winning attitude aboard the plane. You see, the baggage check people at the airport noticed that we were dressed in our Mets gear. Since we're only allowed one piece of carry-on luggage, they claimed that as Mets fans, we have too much baggage as it is.

On that note, let's see what we might have missed while we were trying to find a place on Alcatraz for Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo to play their next game of catch.

The Mets dropped the ball on one of these guys. The other guy dropped the ball for the Mets.

Carlos Beltran suffered a setback on the road to becoming the 198th rightfielder in franchise history. Beltran will not play until next week, after it was announced that he is suffering from tendinitis in his left knee. With the prognostication of time missed due to injuries not high on the Mets' accuracy list, it would not be a surprise if Beltran was not ready for Opening Day.

For years, Carlos Beltran has been 85% healthy any time he has been afflicted with aches and pains. For now, it appears as if he's 85% sure that he's 85% healthy.

Yes, we still like Carlos Beltran...85% of the time.

There is still no clear-cut favorite for the opening at second base, leaving room for plenty of competition over the final three weeks of Spring Training. As sad as the situation may seem, it might be true that the best second basemen currently employed by the Mets are AA-Binghamton manager Wally Backman and AAA-Buffalo manager Tim Teufel.

If only former first round draft pick Reese Havens were not so injury-prone, perhaps this could have been the year for the second base prospect to make the jump to the major leagues. However, perhaps Ike Davis said it best when he spoke of the man who was drafted four spots ahead of him in the 2008 draft:

"All I know is that he plays 10 games a year, and hits 10 home runs."

Havens' power potential at a position where long balls are scarce (except for division rivals Philadelphia and Atlanta, who can boast Chase Utley and Dan Uggla as their second sackers, respectively) would have provided a big boost for the Mets in 2011.

Last season, the Mets used Luis Castillo, Ruben Tejada and Luis Hernandez at second base. The trio combined for three home runs in 507 at-bats in 2010, including the September blast hit by Luis Hernandez soon after an unnamed teammate wished him luck by telling him to "break a leg", which of course, was taken literally by the 26-year-old Hernandez.

Had Luis Hernandez chosen Wheaties instead of Rice Krispies for his pre-game meal, perhaps his leg wouldn't have gone "snap, crackle, pop" as he fouled a ball off it prior to hitting this home run.

Terry Collins, Dan Warthen and Sandy Alderson have decided to move Oliver Perez to the bullpen, thereby not allowing Ollie the opportunity to invade the Top 20 on the club's all-time list for games started. (Currently, the lefty ranks 23rd all-time with 91 starts over his 4½ seasons with the Mets.)

Perhaps a better idea would be to banish him from ever appearing in a Mets uniform again. That would give Ollie the opportunity to appear in Major League 3 (although it would actually be the fourth film in the Major League franchise of films, as Major League: Back To The Minors was released in 1998 to the delight of all five people who watched it).

Since Charlie Sheen is busy promoting his "Winning Is Everything" World Tour, he would have difficulty reprising his role as Rick Vaughn. What better role for Oliver Perez to make his film debut than in the role of "Wild Thing"? His performance on the mound since 2009 (100 walks, eight hit batsmen and six wild pitches in 112⅓ innings) should save the film production company plenty of money in casting costs. He'd be a natural for the role, and he could reunite with the unemployed Carlos Delgado, who'd be a natural to fill Dennis Haysbert's shoes in the role of Pedro Cerrano. Of course, Delgado would have to pry away Jobu from the hands of Carlos Beltran, who allegedly bought the icon as a means to improve his curveball hitting skills.

Pedro Cerrano and Carlos Delgado, or is that Carlos Delgado and Pedro Cerrano? Dang doppelgangers!

That's all for this edition of Broken News, where someone else breaks the story before us, then we break it some more. Remember, if you catch wind of a Mets-related story, send that wind over to us. We have no problem breaking that as well.

Enjoy the rest of Spring Training!